{"id":149,"date":"2021-12-05T10:00:14","date_gmt":"2021-12-05T10:00:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/?p=149"},"modified":"2021-12-05T10:00:15","modified_gmt":"2021-12-05T10:00:15","slug":"es-geht-nicht-um-sie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/de\/es-geht-nicht-um-sie\/","title":{"rendered":"Es geht nicht um dich"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Ich bin Mitglied der Personal Development School und auch ihrer offiziellen Facebook-Gruppe. Verschiedene Mitglieder posten \u00fcber ihr Leben und ihre Beziehungen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Eine Geschichte, die jemand heute gepostet hat (die ich nicht weiter erz\u00e4hlen werde, um ihre Privatsph\u00e4re zu respektieren), hat mich an meine eigene Situation erinnert.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Eine Situation, in der ich mit \"meinem\" DA-Liebesinteresse zusammen bin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sie antwortet grunds\u00e4tzlich nicht auf einige Fragen \/ l\u00e4sst Gespr\u00e4che abrei\u00dfen. Ich habe mir das Hirn zermartert, um L\u00f6sungen zu finden, aber am Ende muss ich wohl akzeptieren, dass die L\u00f6sung darin besteht, das Ganze zu \u00fcberdenken. <strong>meine Wahl der Frauen<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In der Kindheit m\u00fcssen wir mit unseren Eltern so umgehen, wie sie sind. Es gibt keine Alternative (wie z. B. \"sich andere Eltern aussuchen\"). Manche von uns neigen dazu, dies auf ihre Liebespartner zu \u00fcbertragen und an Situationen festzuhalten, die f\u00fcr uns nicht funktionieren.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In meinem Fall sp\u00fcre ich keine Fortschritte und <strong>Wachstum <\/strong>in der Verbindung mit meinem DA-Liebesinteresse. Wachstum ist f\u00fcr mich sehr wichtig. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ich habe versucht, die Flammen auf meine Weise anzufachen, aber es scheint, dass ich ihr zu nahe komme, als dass sie sich dabei wohlf\u00fchlen k\u00f6nnte.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Also stellt sie das Gleichgewicht wieder her, indem sie sich zur\u00fcckzieht<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mit anderen Worten: Ich bitte sie, mir etwas zu geben, was sie nicht kann. (Zumindest im Moment.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Aber es geht nicht um mich und darum, dass ich mich nicht richtig zeige oder etwas falsch mache. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Es geht um meine Wahl, um die Entscheidung, in einer Situation zu bleiben, in der die Frau nicht an dem interessiert \/ f\u00e4hig ist, was ich mir \"von ihr\" w\u00fcnschen w\u00fcrde. (Eine f\u00fcr beide Seiten befriedigende romantische Beziehung). <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sie ist gef\u00fchlsm\u00e4\u00dfig nicht verf\u00fcgbar. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sie hat Angst, sich zu \u00f6ffnen. Bis dahin sollte ich bewiesen haben, dass ich ein sicherer Typ bin, dass ich sie nicht unter Druck setze, dass ich akzeptiere und respektiere, wenn sie Zeit f\u00fcr sich braucht. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Das ist nicht genug, denn ihre spezielle Programmierung - ihre Vergangenheit, ihre Erfahrungen - sagen ihr, dass sie sich von mir fernhalten soll. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Es geht nicht um mich, es geht um ihre eigene Vergangenheit. Und ich kann diese Vergangenheit nicht \u00e4ndern (zumindest nicht direkt - Menschen K\u00d6NNEN ihre Erinnerungen umprogrammieren).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Es geht nicht um mich, es geht nicht um etwas, das ich tue. Es ist nicht \"meine Schuld\", <strong>ich habe keine Kontrolle \u00fcber sie<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Das Einzige, was ich unter Kontrolle habe, ist, meine Bed\u00fcrfnisse mitzuteilen und Partner zu w\u00e4hlen, die f\u00fcr diese Mitteilung empf\u00e4nglich sind und daran interessiert sind, die Bed\u00fcrfnisse auf ausgewogene, f\u00fcr beide Seiten befriedigende Weise zu erf\u00fcllen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Eine Heirat mit meiner DA-Liebe (an die ich in diesen Tagen aufgrund meines Alters verst\u00e4rkt denke) scheint derzeit unwahrscheinlich. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ich w\u00fcnsche ihr aufrichtig alles Gute und werde sie weiterhin nach besten Kr\u00e4ften unterst\u00fctzen. Denn tief im Inneren ist sie mir nach wie vor wichtig. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In gewisser Weise ist sie ein Spiegelbild von mir, von dem Verstecken vor der Liebe. Wir sind beide gleich.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I am a member of the Personal Development School, and also of it&#8217;s official Facebook group. Different members post about their lives and relationships. A story which someone posted today (which I will not retell, to respect their privacy!) reminded me of my own situation. 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