{"id":94,"date":"2021-09-16T07:47:34","date_gmt":"2021-09-16T07:47:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/?p=94"},"modified":"2021-09-16T17:33:11","modified_gmt":"2021-09-16T17:33:11","slug":"echtzeit-schattenverarbeitungs-verteidigungstechnik-schutz-vor-ungerechtfertigter-kritik","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/de\/echtzeit-schattenverarbeitungs-verteidigungstechnik-schutz-vor-ungerechtfertigter-kritik\/","title":{"rendered":"Echtzeit-Schattenverarbeitungs-Verteidigungstechnik (Schutz vor ungerechtfertigter Kritik)"},"content":{"rendered":"
W\u00e4hrend eines der emotionalen Ausbr\u00fcche meines Vaters, der mich kritisierte, entdeckte ich eine sehr wirksame Technik, um die eigenen Gef\u00fchle (und die eigene Verletzlichkeit) vor ungerechtfertigter Kritik zu sch\u00fctzen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Die Idee ist, die Schattenverarbeitung in Echtzeit von der andere <\/em>Perspektive der Person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wenn sie durch etwas ausgel\u00f6st werden, bezieht sich das auf etwas in ihnen selbst.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wenn man mir z.B. vorwirft, ich sei unsensibel, egoistisch usw. - dann ist das die Aussage meines Vaters: \"Ich projiziere meinen Egoismus auf dich, ich projiziere meine Gef\u00fchllosigkeit auf dich, und das l\u00f6st mich aus\". <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ich habe es geschafft, w\u00e4hrend dieser Sitzung ganz ruhig zu bleiben und selbst nicht emotional ausgel\u00f6st zu werden. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mir wurde klar, dass hinter seinen Ausbr\u00fcchen Schmerz und unerf\u00fcllte Bed\u00fcrfnisse stecken, die er nicht auf andere Art und Weise mitteilen kann. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Obwohl er behauptete, dass es ihm egal sei, wenn ich aus der Diskussion aussteige (was ich auch wollte, da ich m\u00fcde war und mich nicht auf Diskussionen \u00fcber einen Rechtsfall einlassen wollte, den meine Familie verloren hatte), wurde mir klar, dass es das \"Richtige\" w\u00e4re (um den Schaden \/ die Belastung der Beziehung zu verringern), zu bleiben.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Also blieb ich und schaffte es, irgendwann eine zivile Diskussion zu f\u00fchren und die Spannung zu entsch\u00e4rfen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Die Interaktionen mit meinem Vater haben mein Interesse an Psychologie geweckt und ich habe mich \u00fcber menschliche Beziehungen informiert. Um mich zu sch\u00fctzen, aber ich sehe, dass diese F\u00e4higkeiten auch in allen anderen Bereichen meines Lebens sehr n\u00fctzlich sind (z. B. im Gesch\u00e4ftsleben). <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Hier ist auch eine Transaktion, die ich mit einer Person hatte, die auf eine von uns aufgegebene Anzeige antwortete, in der wir einen neuen Mitarbeiter f\u00fcr die Verpackung von Bestellungen suchten:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
(er) \"Das Gehalt ist l\u00e4cherlich\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(ich) \"Vielen Dank f\u00fcr Ihr Feedback und viel Erfolg bei der Stellensuche\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(er) \"Ich bin angestellter Malermeister, verdiene 4000 \u20ac brutto im Monat\".<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Das fragliche Gehalt (das ich zu zahlen bereit bin) betrug 1800 \u20ac brutto pro Monat. Urspr\u00fcnglich hatte ich angenommen, dass er einen Job suchte und bei uns angestellt werden wollte, aber ein h\u00f6heres Gehalt ben\u00f6tigte (Politik der sauren Trauben). Jetzt habe ich mir \u00fcberlegt, dass er m\u00f6glicherweise soziale Gerechtigkeit, hohe Geh\u00e4lter f\u00fcr alle usw. will. - Ich antwortete ihm, dass ich froh bin, dass er dieses Gehalt hat, und fragte ihn, was ihn dazu veranlasst hat, die urspr\u00fcngliche Nachricht zu schreiben. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Vielleicht gibt es daf\u00fcr einen interessanten Grund. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Vielleicht ist es eine Projektion davon, dass er sich des Gehalts, das er derzeit bekommt, nicht w\u00fcrdig f\u00fchlt. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dinge nicht als pers\u00f6nliche Angriffe auffassen (auch wenn sie als solche gemeint sind, denn das ist die nur <\/strong>Werkzeug, das die andere Person hat) erm\u00f6glicht es uns, die Situation zu deeskalieren und mehr herauszufinden. Vielleicht mehr, um sich zu distanzieren, vielleicht interessante Erkenntnisse. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Au\u00dferdem macht es auch Spa\u00df, weil diese pers\u00f6nlichen Angriffe dazu dienen, Ihre Stimmung aus dem Gleichgewicht zu bringen und m\u00f6glicherweise eine emotionale Reaktion bei Ihnen hervorzurufen. Das ist der Grund, warum die andere Person dieses Mittel einsetzt - sie hat gelernt, dass dies etwas ist, das funktioniert. (arme Schweine) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Wenn Sie ganz anders antworten, und in der Lage sind diese pers\u00f6nlichen Angriffe als etwas abzulenken, was die andere Person tats\u00e4chlich \u00fcber sich selbst sagt<\/strong>Wenn Sie die Botschaft der anderen Person verstehen, werden Sie in der Lage sein, ihre Botschaft \u00fcber ihren Schmerz zu verstehen und konstruktiv auf etwas zu reagieren, das von der anderen Person in destruktiver Weise benutzt wird. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sie werden gl\u00fccklicher sein<\/strong>und entspannter - und das ist es, was z\u00e4hlt. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Es ist ihr Schmerz, nicht Ihrer - aber Sie k\u00f6nnen verstehen, in welcher Weise die Situation mit Ihnen sie ausgel\u00f6st hat. Nicht alle Menschen haben gute intrapersonelle F\u00e4higkeiten. Nicht jeder hat es geschafft, in ein Umfeld zu kommen, in dem er diese F\u00e4higkeiten erlernen konnte. Diese Dinge sind erlernbar - und die kontraproduktive Kritik \/ pers\u00f6nlichen Angriffe sind ebenfalls erlernbar. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
P.S. Diese Person antwortete auf meine Frage, was sie motiviert hat, mir etwas kryptisch zu schreiben \"jeder wie er es verdient\". <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
During one of my father’s emotional outbursts with criticism towards me I discovered a very effective technique to protect one’s own emotions (and vulnerability) against unjust criticism. The idea is to apply real-time shadow processing from the other person’s perspective. If they are triggered by something, it is referring to something within them. e.g. if […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[31],"tags":[53,49,48,54,55,21,50,52,51],"class_list":["post-94","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tools-for-emotional-work","tag-angry-people","tag-attacks","tag-criticism","tag-emotional-outbursts","tag-hate","tag-pain","tag-personal-attack","tag-shift-mood","tag-take-personal"],"yoast_head":"\n
Real-time shadow processing defense technique (protection against unjust criticism) - VitalMeaning<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/de\/echtzeit-schattenverarbeitungs-verteidigungstechnik-schutz-vor-ungerechtfertigter-kritik\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"de_DE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Real-time shadow processing defense technique (protection against unjust criticism) - VitalMeaning\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"During one of my father’s emotional outbursts with criticism towards me I discovered a very effective technique to protect one’s own emotions (and vulnerability) against unjust criticism. The idea is to apply real-time shadow processing from the other person’s perspective. 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Derzeit interessiere ich mich f\u00fcr Raspberry Pi, k\u00fcnstliche Intelligenz und pers\u00f6nliche Entwicklung. Ich bin ein gro\u00dfer Fan von Thais Gibson und ihrem YouTube-Kanal und ihrer Schule :-)","sameAs":["https:\/\/pi3g.com"],"url":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/de\/author\/max\/"}]}},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":false,"thumbnail":false,"medium":false,"medium_large":false,"large":false,"1536x1536":false,"2048x2048":false,"trp-custom-language-flag":false},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Max","author_link":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/de\/author\/max\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"During one of my father’s emotional outbursts with criticism towards me I discovered a very effective technique to protect one’s own emotions (and vulnerability) against unjust criticism. The idea is to apply real-time shadow processing from the other person’s perspective. 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