{"id":329,"date":"2023-01-20T00:01:40","date_gmt":"2023-01-20T00:01:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/?p=329"},"modified":"2023-01-20T00:01:41","modified_gmt":"2023-01-20T00:01:41","slug":"comportamiento-autodestructivo-ilustrado","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/es\/comportamiento-autodestructivo-ilustrado\/","title":{"rendered":"Comportamiento autodestructivo ilustrado"},"content":{"rendered":"

Actualmente estoy chateando con una mujer (en un contexto de citas), que debe permanecer an\u00f3nima. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Como me encuentro de viaje en Australia y ella en Alemania, a\u00fan no he podido reunirme con ella. Nos hemos estado escribiendo de vez en cuando, y result\u00f3 que ella est\u00e1 interesada en m\u00ed. Tambi\u00e9n he sabido que tiene miedo al rechazo y que no quiere que los hombres le mientan. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Como a\u00fan no la conozco, y no estoy seguro de si congeniaremos en persona, he decidido compartir con ella que a\u00fan no somos exclusivos (ella habl\u00f3 de m\u00ed como su flechazo, lo que me hizo pensar que est\u00e1 en otro nivel de compromiso). Esto tambi\u00e9n se hizo, si soy 100 % honesto, como una autodefensa desde\u00f1osa contra demasiada cercan\u00eda con ella. Seguir\u00e9 trabajando en ello. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me escribi\u00f3 que eso no le gustaba. Y su comportamiento comunicativo cambi\u00f3 despu\u00e9s de eso: no reaccion\u00f3 a algunos mensajes que le envi\u00e9. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me di cuenta de que algo pasaba y le escrib\u00ed. Dice que no quiere \"estar en una competici\u00f3n\". Tambi\u00e9n dijo \"no me trates como si tuviera que ganar el primer puesto para verte\". <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Inmediatamente, vi que esto se debe a algunas heridas internas suyas. No estaba indicando en modo alguno que ella tenga que \"ganar el primer puesto\". De hecho, \u00a1estoy encantado de quedar con ella (una vez) en cualquier caso! Soy muy flexible en lo que respecta a la primera cita, y he tenido algunas sorpresas positivas con mujeres de las que no esperaba gran cosa. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Es cierto, hay muchas mujeres y muchos hombres. Pero la mayor\u00eda de ellos no encajan, como intent\u00e9 explicarle, porque no tienen el tipo de personalidad que resonar\u00eda conmigo, o con ella. No es una competici\u00f3n, es la b\u00fasqueda de un buen ajuste<\/strong>! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ella est\u00e1 reaccionando de forma exagerada a mi honestidad (que admito que fue armada, pero a\u00fan as\u00ed honesta - ya tuve una cita mientras estaba aqu\u00ed en Australia, y una segunda cita est\u00e1 prevista para ma\u00f1ana). Todav\u00eda no hemos tenido ninguna cita, s\u00f3lo nos hemos estado enviando mensajes de texto. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Le hice la oferta de que tendr\u00edamos una cita, y si resonamos podemos discutir en la segunda cita lo que necesitamos para seguir vi\u00e9ndonos. Ha le\u00eddo los mensajes, pero no ha respondido. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Le ofrec\u00ed un compromiso. Al ella tener miedo al rechazo - y no hablar de las inseguridades de una manera vulnerable, pidiendo lo que necesita, etc - lo hace m\u00e1s dif\u00edcil para ella. Ya empec\u00e9 a evaluar su reacci\u00f3n a mi comunicaci\u00f3n, y estoy proyectando eso en una futura vida juntos - he aprendido que alejarse de los problemas por la mujer que me interesa har\u00e1 la comunicaci\u00f3n mucho m\u00e1s dif\u00edcil. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Su miedo la est\u00e1 llevando a desvincularse de m\u00ed. Su miedo a ser rechazada, las acciones que toma para manejar ese miedo, \u00a1en realidad aumentan la probabilidad de ser rechazada!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

No estoy seguro de si congeniaremos en la primera cita, ni siquiera de si saldremos juntos. S\u00f3lo s\u00e9 una cosa: que voy a seguir buscando soluciones y compromisos que tengan en cuenta mis necesidades. Y necesito ver a m\u00e1s mujeres para encontrar a aquella con la que realmente congenie, no quiero cambiar mi enfoque para arreglar las inseguridades de alguien. Sin embargo, estoy feliz de hablar de compromisos. O para pasar de ella - que entonces dar\u00eda lugar a su miedo se realiza ... <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me preocupo por ella como un ser humano m\u00e1s, pero todav\u00eda no se ha formado en m\u00ed ning\u00fan apego hacia ella. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Por cierto, la iron\u00eda es que posiblemente tambi\u00e9n se trate de un comportamiento autodestructivo por mi parte, en el que he optado por utilizar un arma de comunicaci\u00f3n honesta, provocando as\u00ed que ella d\u00e9 un giro de 180\u00ba y pase de estar enamorada de m\u00ed a ser fr\u00eda y distante, saboteando as\u00ed mis propias posibilidades de conocerla. Seguir\u00e9 procesando mis emociones la pr\u00f3xima vez que se presente una situaci\u00f3n as\u00ed. Ahora mismo no tengo ning\u00fan deseo de alejarla. Es importante que sea consciente de ello y que lo procese; creo que el lado despectivo a veces es m\u00e1s l\u00f3gico que el ansioso, y eso es lo que lo hace m\u00e1s peligroso de tratar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Foto de Alexandru Zdrob\u0103u<\/a> en Unsplash<\/a><\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am currently chatting with a woman (in a dating context), who must remain unnamed. As I am currently travelling in Australia, and she is in Germany, I have not been able to meet with her yet. We have been writing on and off, and it transpired that she is interested in me. I also […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":330,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,128,10],"tags":[116,71,155],"class_list":["post-329","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-boundaries","category-dating","category-self-defeating-behaviors","tag-example","tag-sdb","tag-self-defeating-behavior-2"],"yoast_head":"\nSelf defeating behavior illustrated - VitalMeaning<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/es\/comportamiento-autodestructivo-ilustrado\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"es_ES\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Self defeating behavior illustrated - VitalMeaning\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I am currently chatting with a woman (in a dating context), who must remain unnamed. 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