{"id":72,"date":"2021-09-04T07:14:55","date_gmt":"2021-09-04T07:14:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/?p=72"},"modified":"2021-09-04T09:39:56","modified_gmt":"2021-09-04T09:39:56","slug":"disgustado-por-la-distancia-trabajo-sombra-dorada","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/es\/disgustado-por-la-distancia-trabajo-sombra-dorada\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00bfMolesta la distancia? Haz un trabajo de sombra dorada"},"content":{"rendered":"

La mujer que amo es la mayor maestra para m\u00ed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ella se aleja de m\u00ed. Empiezo a obsesionarme con c\u00f3mo \"conquistarla\", c\u00f3mo \"convencerla de que establezca una relaci\u00f3n conmigo\". S\u00ed, estamos como atascados en la etapa de \"\u00bfamigos o m\u00e1s?\". Estoy recibiendo se\u00f1ales contradictorias de ella, y estoy confundido.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hab\u00eda estado dando vueltas y obsesion\u00e1ndome, leyendo sobre los evitadores displicentes, los estilos de apego, los codependientes, las personalidades obsesivas, etc. - tratando de entenderla, de encontrar la \"llave m\u00e1gica<\/strong>\" que por fin le har\u00eda ver mi amor, etc. Tratando de controlar la situaci\u00f3n buscando la soluci\u00f3n, para que ambos seamos felices. \u00bfTe suena esto?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ya ves, ella es consciente de mi devoci\u00f3n por ella y de que me preocupo por ella. No necesita m\u00e1s pruebas. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Necesita menos presi\u00f3n. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Antes de ayer, pensaba que es ella <\/strong>que necesita darme una oportunidad real. Y necesito \"convencerla\", de alguna manera. Necesito \"hacerla ver la luz\". <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ayer se me ocurri\u00f3 la idea que soy yo quien tiene que darnos una oportunidad real<\/strong><\/span>. Fue un buen pensamiento, y un cambio de paradigma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Menos presi\u00f3n sobre mi amada<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Necesita menos presi\u00f3n. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

He sido paciente y la he tratado muy bien, he aceptado cuando se retira, etc. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Esto, a su vez, aument\u00f3 la presi\u00f3n interna en m\u00ed, la presi\u00f3n de hacer avanzar las cosas de alguna manera, incluso con \"menos presi\u00f3n sobre ella\". <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Estoy constantemente preocupado por \"ser demasiado\" (todav\u00eda), por molestarla, por no decir las cosas correctas, ... <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00bfVes c\u00f3mo la presi\u00f3n sobre ella sigue ah\u00ed?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hoy he tenido una visi\u00f3n adicional. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Necesito eliminar la presi\u00f3n sobre m\u00ed mismo, para eliminar la presi\u00f3n sobre ella.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Menos presi\u00f3n sobre m\u00ed mismo<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

La raz\u00f3n honesta por la que nos enamoramos de las personas es que son un buen partido para nuestro subconsciente, y prometen (impl\u00edcitamente) satisfacer muchas necesidades que tenemos. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Por ejemplo, con mi amada, son cosas como su sentido de la aventura, viajar, vivir y disfrutar de su vida. Esta es la promesa para m\u00ed, \"si puedo convencerla de que sea mi novia, tendr\u00e9 todas estas cosas\". <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00a1Y esta es la fuente de la presi\u00f3n! Ans\u00edo desesperadamente estas cosas, y ella parece \"la mejor soluci\u00f3n\" para ellas. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

S\u00ed, me gusta mucho como ser humano. S\u00ed, la quiero por s\u00ed misma, siento mucha compasi\u00f3n por ella, es dulce y muy sexy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pero la presi\u00f3n<\/strong>la presi\u00f3n sobre m\u00ed mismo para \"conseguirla\", y la monta\u00f1a rusa emocional se debe a que no satisfago mis propias necesidades por mi cuenta<\/strong> - y esperando que se re\u00fana con ellos. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Estoy desesperado, y eso hace que sea mucho m\u00e1s dif\u00edcil para m\u00ed aparecer de la mejor manera para ella, la forma en que ella merece que yo aparezca.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trabajo de la Sombra Dorada<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Otra cosa maravillosa que he aprendido de Thais Gibson's Trabajo en la sombra: c\u00f3mo superar tus sentimientos de indignidad<\/em><\/a> curso es el sombra dorada <\/strong>trabajo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Se basa en el trabajo de Carl Gustav Jung. En resumen, proyectamos en otras personas rasgos que realmente tenemos, pero que reprimimos, y experimentamos intensos sentimientos positivos hacia ellas. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

De hecho, he realizado el curso de Trabajo de Sombras, y he identificado los rasgos que me resultan muy atractivos en la mujer que amo. (Si te interesa la forma en que se hace, recomiendo a unirse a la Escuela de Desarrollo de la Personalidad de Thais<\/a> - tiene una prueba gratuita). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pero no he hecho mucho por poner estos rasgos en mi vida de forma activa, sino que me he metido en la misma madriguera de \"intentar encontrar una soluci\u00f3n con ella\". <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ahora, esto es un recordatorio para m\u00ed misma: necesito centrarme en m\u00ed y en mis necesidades. Y necesito encontrar maneras - \u00a1que no involucren a mi amado! - para satisfacer estas necesidades. Una vez satisfechas, estar\u00e9 mucho m\u00e1s relajada. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Entonces, nos dar\u00e9 una oportunidad real.<\/strong> Est\u00e1 en mis manos, la soluci\u00f3n est\u00e1 en m\u00ed y en mi vida y no en ella.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

El banquete<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Imag\u00ednate que est\u00e1s muy hambriento y te invitan a un banquete; es posible que no lleves tus mejores modales a la mesa, ya que lo \u00fanico que quieres y lo \u00fanico que tienes en mente es para llenar la barriga lo antes posible.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Si, por el contrario, la comida es abundante y siempre est\u00e1 disponible, entonces estar\u00e1s m\u00e1s atento a los modales en la mesa, podr\u00e1s disfrutar de la m\u00fasica del banquete, de los bailarines, de la decoraci\u00f3n y entablar\u00e1s una agradable conversaci\u00f3n con los dem\u00e1s invitados. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Esto es lo que voy a hacer ahora, con lo que queda de este a\u00f1o: voy a volver a las notas del trabajo de la sombra dorada que he hecho, y me estoy centrando en satisfacer mis necesidades y sacar tiempo para ellas.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

No m\u00e1s lecturas sobre estilos de apego por ahora, tratando de encontrar \"la soluci\u00f3n a su problema\" - ella har\u00e1 lo que es mejor para ella. Y si yo hago lo que es mejor para m\u00ed, ahora, no habr\u00e1 ninguna presi\u00f3n sobre ella \"para estar conmigo porque la necesito\".<\/p>\n\n\n\n

S\u00f3lo habr\u00e1 una invitaci\u00f3n <\/strong>a ella, \"para que se convierta en mi novia, porque me importa mucho y quiero darle alegr\u00eda a su vida\". <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The woman I love is the greatest teacher to me. She withdraws from me. I start obsessing about how to “win her”, how to “convince her to build a relationship with me.” Yes, we’re kind of stuck in the “friends or more?” stage. I’m getting mixed signals from her, and am confused. I had been […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,31],"tags":[12,5,9,4,32,33,14,3],"class_list":["post-72","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationships","category-tools-for-emotional-work","tag-boundaries","tag-dismissive-avoidant","tag-distancer-pursuer-dynamic","tag-emotionally-unavailable","tag-needs","tag-pressure","tag-running-away","tag-woman"],"yoast_head":"\nUpset about distance? 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