{"id":107,"date":"2021-09-25T16:21:04","date_gmt":"2021-09-25T16:21:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/?p=107"},"modified":"2021-09-25T16:21:04","modified_gmt":"2021-09-25T16:21:04","slug":"est-il-raisonnable-dessayer-de-controler-ce-phenomene","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/fr\/est-il-raisonnable-dessayer-de-controler-ce-phenomene\/","title":{"rendered":"Est-il raisonnable d'essayer de contr\u00f4ler cela ?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Je travaille actuellement sur le cours \"Perfectionnisme\" de Thais Gibson<\/a>. Elle recommande de se demander si la chose particuli\u00e8re que nous essayons de contr\u00f4ler est r\u00e9ellement \u00e0 notre port\u00e9e. Et si ce n'est pas le cas, d'arr\u00eater d'essayer de la contr\u00f4ler - et de s'abandonner au r\u00e9sultat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

En tant que personnes motiv\u00e9es et perfectionnistes, nous pouvons avoir l'impression que \"rien n'est impossible\", et essayer de r\u00e9soudre les relations avec les autres. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c9chouer de mani\u00e8re r\u00e9p\u00e9t\u00e9e et chercher de nouvelles fa\u00e7ons de \"faire marcher les choses\". <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Par exemple, la femme pour laquelle j'ai des sentiments se retire - et je me demande, si c'est moi qui fais quelque chose de mal, ce que je devrais changer, et comment \"obtenir d'elle les informations dont j'ai besoin pour m'adapter\".<\/p>\n\n\n\n

En laissant de c\u00f4t\u00e9 pour un moment le fait que le probl\u00e8me pourrait ne pas \u00eatre du tout de mon c\u00f4t\u00e9 (je me comporte de mani\u00e8re tr\u00e8s raisonnable, patiente, amicale etc). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Je pense toujours : \"Si je savais ce que c'est, je pourrais changer et am\u00e9liorer les choses\".<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mais est-ce quelque chose que je peux contr\u00f4ler ?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Est-ce que le fait de SAVOIR ce que c'est est est quelque chose que je peux contr\u00f4ler ? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Si elle ne veut pas partager avec moi de son propre chef, et travailler \u00e0 la construction d'une relation, est-ce quelque chose que je peux contr\u00f4ler ? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Non. C'est au-del\u00e0 de mon contr\u00f4le raisonnable. Elle sait que je suis int\u00e9ress\u00e9. J'ai donc fait ma part.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

J'ai \u00e9galement demand\u00e9 si le fait de lui laisser de l'espace lorsqu'elle se retire est la bonne chose \u00e0 faire (elle n'a pas r\u00e9pondu). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Donc, la seule chose qui me reste \u00e0 faire est de me rendre. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

S'abandonner, et commencer \u00e0 r\u00e9pondre \u00e0 mes besoins autrement que par une relation fantaisiste. <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am currently working on the “Perfectionism” course by Thais Gibson. She recommends to inquire, whether the particular thing we are trying to control is actually within our reasonable control. And if not, to stop trying to control it – and surrender to the outcome. As driven, perfectionistic people, we might feel that “nothing is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,11,31],"tags":[64,66,5,65,67,62,63],"class_list":["post-107","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-emotionally-unavailable-women","category-relationships","category-tools-for-emotional-work","tag-chasing","tag-control","tag-dismissive-avoidant","tag-distancer-pursuer-dynamic-2","tag-give-up-control","tag-surrender","tag-withdrawing"],"yoast_head":"\nIs it reasonable to try and control this? - VitalMeaning<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/fr\/est-il-raisonnable-dessayer-de-controler-ce-phenomene\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Is it reasonable to try and control this? - VitalMeaning\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I am currently working on the “Perfectionism” course by Thais Gibson. She recommends to inquire, whether the particular thing we are trying to control is actually within our reasonable control. And if not, to stop trying to control it – and surrender to the outcome. As driven, perfectionistic people, we might feel that “nothing is […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/fr\/est-il-raisonnable-dessayer-de-controler-ce-phenomene\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"VitalMeaning\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-09-25T16:21:04+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Max\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"\u00c9crit par\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Max\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Dur\u00e9e de lecture estim\u00e9e\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/is-it-reasonable-to-try-and-control-this\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/is-it-reasonable-to-try-and-control-this\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Max\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/#\/schema\/person\/c2f46184a8199a4eeb7d1ed7ea80bcff\"},\"headline\":\"Is it reasonable to try and control this?\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-09-25T16:21:04+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/is-it-reasonable-to-try-and-control-this\/\"},\"wordCount\":280,\"commentCount\":0,\"keywords\":[\"chasing\",\"control\",\"dismissive avoidant\",\"distancer pursuer dynamic\",\"give up control\",\"surrender\",\"withdrawing\"],\"articleSection\":[\"emotionally unavailable women\",\"relationships\",\"tools for emotional work\"],\"inLanguage\":\"fr-FR\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/is-it-reasonable-to-try-and-control-this\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/is-it-reasonable-to-try-and-control-this\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/is-it-reasonable-to-try-and-control-this\/\",\"name\":\"Is it reasonable to try and control this? - VitalMeaning\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2021-09-25T16:21:04+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/#\/schema\/person\/c2f46184a8199a4eeb7d1ed7ea80bcff\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/is-it-reasonable-to-try-and-control-this\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"fr-FR\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/is-it-reasonable-to-try-and-control-this\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/is-it-reasonable-to-try-and-control-this\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Is it reasonable to try and control this?\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/\",\"name\":\"VitalMeaning\",\"description\":\"my self development journey\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"fr-FR\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/#\/schema\/person\/c2f46184a8199a4eeb7d1ed7ea80bcff\",\"name\":\"Max\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"fr-FR\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/35d6f244e4222d36532072edf6643c9aa3041034ace4369ed44df8e2b70928f3?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/35d6f244e4222d36532072edf6643c9aa3041034ace4369ed44df8e2b70928f3?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Max\"},\"description\":\"I am an entrepreneur with an eclectic background. Currently into Raspberry Pi, Artificial Intelligence, and Personal Development. A big fan of Thais Gibson and her YouTube channel & school :-)\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/pi3g.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/fr\/author\/max\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Est-il raisonnable d'essayer de contr\u00f4ler cela ? - Signification vitale","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/fr\/est-il-raisonnable-dessayer-de-controler-ce-phenomene\/","og_locale":"fr_FR","og_type":"article","og_title":"Is it reasonable to try and control this? - VitalMeaning","og_description":"I am currently working on the “Perfectionism” course by Thais Gibson. She recommends to inquire, whether the particular thing we are trying to control is actually within our reasonable control. And if not, to stop trying to control it – and surrender to the outcome. As driven, perfectionistic people, we might feel that “nothing is […]","og_url":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/fr\/est-il-raisonnable-dessayer-de-controler-ce-phenomene\/","og_site_name":"VitalMeaning","article_published_time":"2021-09-25T16:21:04+00:00","author":"Max","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"\u00c9crit par":"Max","Dur\u00e9e de lecture estim\u00e9e":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/is-it-reasonable-to-try-and-control-this\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/is-it-reasonable-to-try-and-control-this\/"},"author":{"name":"Max","@id":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/#\/schema\/person\/c2f46184a8199a4eeb7d1ed7ea80bcff"},"headline":"Is it reasonable to try and control this?","datePublished":"2021-09-25T16:21:04+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/is-it-reasonable-to-try-and-control-this\/"},"wordCount":280,"commentCount":0,"keywords":["chasing","control","dismissive avoidant","distancer pursuer dynamic","give up control","surrender","withdrawing"],"articleSection":["emotionally unavailable women","relationships","tools for emotional work"],"inLanguage":"fr-FR","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/is-it-reasonable-to-try-and-control-this\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/is-it-reasonable-to-try-and-control-this\/","url":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/is-it-reasonable-to-try-and-control-this\/","name":"Est-il raisonnable d'essayer de contr\u00f4ler cela ? - Signification vitale","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2021-09-25T16:21:04+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/#\/schema\/person\/c2f46184a8199a4eeb7d1ed7ea80bcff"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/is-it-reasonable-to-try-and-control-this\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"fr-FR","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/is-it-reasonable-to-try-and-control-this\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/is-it-reasonable-to-try-and-control-this\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Is it reasonable to try and control this?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/","name":"VitalMeaning","description":"mon parcours de d\u00e9veloppement personnel","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"fr-FR"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/#\/schema\/person\/c2f46184a8199a4eeb7d1ed7ea80bcff","name":"Max","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"fr-FR","@id":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/35d6f244e4222d36532072edf6643c9aa3041034ace4369ed44df8e2b70928f3?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/35d6f244e4222d36532072edf6643c9aa3041034ace4369ed44df8e2b70928f3?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Max"},"description":"Je suis un entrepreneur avec un parcours \u00e9clectique. Je m'int\u00e9resse actuellement au Raspberry Pi, \u00e0 l'intelligence artificielle et au d\u00e9veloppement personnel. Je suis un grand fan de Thais Gibson, de sa cha\u00eene YouTube et de son \u00e9cole :-)","sameAs":["https:\/\/pi3g.com"],"url":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/fr\/author\/max\/"}]}},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":false,"thumbnail":false,"medium":false,"medium_large":false,"large":false,"1536x1536":false,"2048x2048":false,"trp-custom-language-flag":false},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Max","author_link":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/fr\/author\/max\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"I am currently working on the “Perfectionism” course by Thais Gibson. She recommends to inquire, whether the particular thing we are trying to control is actually within our reasonable control. And if not, to stop trying to control it – and surrender to the outcome. As driven, perfectionistic people, we might feel that “nothing is\u2026","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=107"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":108,"href":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107\/revisions\/108"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=107"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=107"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/fr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=107"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}