{"id":149,"date":"2021-12-05T10:00:14","date_gmt":"2021-12-05T10:00:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/?p=149"},"modified":"2021-12-05T10:00:15","modified_gmt":"2021-12-05T10:00:15","slug":"il-ne-sagit-pas-de-vous","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/fr\/il-ne-sagit-pas-de-vous\/","title":{"rendered":"Il ne s'agit pas de toi"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Je suis membre de l'\u00e9cole de d\u00e9veloppement personnel, ainsi que de son groupe officiel sur Facebook. Diff\u00e9rents membres y publient des articles sur leur vie et leurs relations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Une histoire que quelqu'un a post\u00e9e aujourd'hui (que je ne raconterai pas, pour respecter sa vie priv\u00e9e !) m'a rappel\u00e9 ma propre situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Une situation, dans laquelle je suis avec \"mon\" int\u00e9r\u00eat amoureux de DA.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>En fait, elle ne r\u00e9pond pas \u00e0 certaines questions et laisse les conversations s'\u00e9terniser. Je me suis creus\u00e9 la t\u00eate pour trouver des solutions, mais \u00e0 la fin, je dois probablement accepter que la solution consiste \u00e0 reconsid\u00e9rer la situation. <strong>mon choix de femmes<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dans l'enfance, nous devons faire face \u00e0 nos parents tels qu'ils sont. Il n'y a pas d'alternative (comme \"choisir d'autres parents\"). Certains d'entre nous ont tendance \u00e0 transf\u00e9rer cela \u00e0 leurs partenaires romantiques et \u00e0 s'accrocher \u00e0 des situations qui ne leur conviennent pas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dans mon cas, je ne ressens pas de progr\u00e8s et <strong>croissance <\/strong>dans la connexion avec mon int\u00e9r\u00eat amoureux de DA. La croissance est tr\u00e8s importante pour moi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>J'ai essay\u00e9 d'attiser les flammes \u00e0 ma fa\u00e7on, mais il semble que je me rapproche trop d'elle pour qu'elle se sente \u00e0 l'aise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Elle r\u00e9tablit donc l'\u00e9quilibre en retirant<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>En d'autres termes, je lui demande de me donner quelque chose qu'elle ne peut pas. (Du moins pour l'instant.) <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Mais il ne s'agit pas de moi et du fait que je ne me pr\u00e9sente pas correctement \/ que je fais quelque chose de mal. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Il s'agit de mon choix, du choix de rester dans une situation o\u00f9 la femme n'est pas int\u00e9ress\u00e9e \/ capable de faire ce que j'aimerais \"d'elle\". (Une relation romantique mutuellement satisfaisante). <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Elle est \u00e9motionnellement indisponible. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Elle a peur de s'ouvrir. \u00c0 ce stade, je devrais avoir prouv\u00e9 que je suis un homme s\u00fbr, que je ne lui mets pas la pression, que j'accepte et respecte le moment o\u00f9 elle a besoin de temps pour elle. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ce n'est pas suffisant, car sa programmation particuli\u00e8re - son pass\u00e9, ses exp\u00e9riences, lui disent de rester loin de moi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Il ne s'agit pas de moi, mais de son propre pass\u00e9. Et je ne peux pas changer ce pass\u00e9 (du moins pas directement - les gens PEUVENT reprogrammer leurs souvenirs).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Il ne s'agit pas de moi, il ne s'agit pas de quelque chose que je fais. Ce n'est pas \"ma faute\", <strong>je n'en ai pas le contr\u00f4le<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>La seule chose que je contr\u00f4le est de communiquer mes besoins et de choisir des partenaires qui seront r\u00e9ceptifs \u00e0 cette communication et d\u00e9sireux de r\u00e9pondre aux besoins de mani\u00e8re \u00e9quilibr\u00e9e et mutuellement satisfaisante. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Un mariage avec mon int\u00e9r\u00eat pour le DA (ce \u00e0 quoi je pense davantage ces jours-ci, en raison de mon \u00e2ge) semble peu probable \u00e0 ce stade. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Je lui souhaite vraiment bonne chance et je continuerai \u00e0 la soutenir du mieux que je peux. Parce qu'au fond de moi, je continue \u00e0 me soucier d'elle. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>D'une certaine mani\u00e8re, elle est un reflet de moi, de la dissimulation de l'amour. Nous sommes tous les deux pareils.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I am a member of the Personal Development School, and also of it&#8217;s official Facebook group. Different members post about their lives and relationships. A story which someone posted today (which I will not retell, to respect their privacy!) reminded me of my own situation. A situation, in which I am with &#8220;my&#8221; DA love [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,11],"tags":[104,5],"class_list":["post-149","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-emotionally-unavailable-women","category-relationships","tag-da","tag-dismissive-avoidant"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>It&#039;s not about you - VitalMeaning<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/fr\/il-ne-sagit-pas-de-vous\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"It&#039;s not about you - VitalMeaning\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I am a member of the Personal Development School, and also of it&#8217;s official Facebook group. 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