{"id":383,"date":"2023-05-07T11:10:31","date_gmt":"2023-05-07T11:10:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/?p=383"},"modified":"2023-05-07T11:10:31","modified_gmt":"2023-05-07T11:10:31","slug":"persistere-nonostante-il-rifiuto-di-una-superpotenza","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/it\/persistere-nonostante-il-rifiuto-di-una-superpotenza\/","title":{"rendered":"Perseverare nonostante il rifiuto: un superpotere"},"content":{"rendered":"

Un coltello pu\u00f2 essere usato per tagliare il pane. Un coltello pu\u00f2 essere usato per fare del male ad altre persone e per fare del male a se stessi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perseverare nonostante il rifiuto<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u00c8 un'abitudine, una cosa che ho preso durante l'infanzia. Mio padre poteva essere imprevedibile. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ricordo bene la sensazione di fiducia che si costruiva lentamente nel tempo con lui, per poi essere infranta da un altro episodio imprevedibile - di parole dure, o addirittura di violenza (verso le cose, ma in alcuni casi purtroppo anche verso di me o verso mio fratello). Ricordo che camminavo su gusci d'uovo, mi sentivo insicura e mi mettevo spesso in discussione. Cercavo di capire cosa potevo fare di buono per stare al sicuro. Per stare al sicuro controllando lui attraverso le mie azioni. Impegnandosi di pi\u00f9<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Inimicizia e co-dipendenza<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Esattamente, questo. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stavo usando il coltello della persistenza nonostante il rifiuto per rimanere al sicuro. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Quando vieni respinto, prova di pi\u00f9\", mi sussurra il coltello. Potete capirlo? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Uscire con un adulto<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Quest'abitudine mi ha portato a rimanere attaccato alle ragazze che mi rifiutavano. \"Quando si viene respinti, ci si impegna di pi\u00f9\".<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stavo usando il coltello contro me stesso, e in qualche modo lo stavo usando anche contro queste donne (infastidendole). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c8 stato solo dopo N che ho lavorato davvero su questo schema e l'ho risolto. Ho smesso di inseguire donne che non erano disponibili o che avevano detto di no.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anche se di tanto in tanto penso ad alcune di queste donne (ad esempio una recente esperienza di incontri con una donna che vive a Monaco), inseguirle \u00e8 un vicolo cieco. Mi rendo conto che non ha funzionato per qualche motivo, e i motivi probabilmente persisteranno.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Il super potere<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Il coltello \u00e8 uno strumento, e per di pi\u00f9 molto utile. Immaginate di dover preparare il cibo senza avere un coltello!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Abbiamo bisogno di coltelli nella nostra vita, e di anche <\/strong>devono essere utilizzati nel modo giusto.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Allo stesso modo, questo \"persistere nonostante il rifiuto\" \u00e8 un superpotere, se applicato correttamente.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Il trucco \u00e8: farlo sequenzialmente<\/strong>di continuare a cercare partner romantici (nonostante il rifiuto), ma di cercare ALTRO <\/strong>partner romantici. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perseverare nonostante il rifiuto. Ma cambiare la persona con cui si sta cercando di uscire. Cambiare fino a trovare una persona che non vi respinga. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Questo. Invece di arrendermi, invece di lamentarmi della mia infanzia e del fatto che mi \u00e8 costata anni (in realt\u00e0 qualcosa come due decenni!) di appuntamenti, posso accettare di avere il dono unico di avere questo strumento a disposizione. So come persistere nonostante il rifiuto. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00c8 stato utile negli affari. Ora, se usato nel modo giusto, sar\u00e0 utile per gli appuntamenti. Continuer\u00f2.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Foto di Daniil Onischenko<\/a> su Unsplash<\/a><\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A knife can be used to cut bread. A knife can be used to hurt other people, and to hurt yourself. Persisting in spite of rejection This is a habit, a thing I picked up in childhood. My father could be unpredictable. 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