{"id":438,"date":"2023-11-04T10:25:09","date_gmt":"2023-11-04T10:25:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/?p=438"},"modified":"2023-11-05T10:09:24","modified_gmt":"2023-11-05T10:09:24","slug":"g-o-perche-non-continuo-a-frequentare-questa-splendida-donna","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/it\/g-or-why-i-dont-continue-to-date-this-gorgeous-woman\/","title":{"rendered":"G, ovvero perch\u00e9 non continuo a frequentare questa splendida donna"},"content":{"rendered":"

Mi ero incontrato con G su Tinder. Era molto sexy e attraente, e anche piuttosto interessata a me. Per esempio, spingeva per avere i nostri appuntamenti video prima, piuttosto che dopo. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

L'ho subito identificata come probabilmente tendente all'attaccamento ansioso. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Non \u00e8 stato questo il motivo per cui le ho detto che non voglio continuare a frequentarla dopo il nostro secondo appuntamento video. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Il vero motivo \u00e8 che ho perso il mio interesse emotivo per lei. Ho analizzato la situazione e ho trovato diverse soluzioni. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

1 \"Non aumenter\u00e0 il mio status sociale\". <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Questo si ispira ai libri di Alex Hormozi (100 M $ Leads e 100 M $ Offers), dove si dice che i prodotti che aumentano lo status sociale della persona (gli altri la ammireranno di pi\u00f9 \/ le daranno un riconoscimento sociale) funzioneranno meglio. Anche gli annunci, ecc. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Come sempre, sto cercando di applicare queste idee anche ad altre situazioni della vita, in questo caso agli appuntamenti (e a cercare di capire le mie emozioni). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

G \u00e8 attualmente disoccupato e sta imparando il tedesco (io vivo in Germania). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ha una laurea, ma durante la nostra conversazione non l'ho \"sentita\" come una persona colta e intelligente in particolare. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Forse voglio che il mio status sociale sia accresciuto dal fatto che la gente ammiri il tipo di ragazza che scelgo, e non solo per l'aspetto, ma anche per il cervello e l'educazione. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2 Si \u00e8 concentrata molto sulle \"dimensioni delle mie aziende\" rispetto alla storia e alla persona che c'\u00e8 dietro. <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Io sono un imprenditore. Anche G. ha una specie di piccola impresa (vende giocattoli ai bambini). Le ho fatto diverse domande al riguardo, per sapere come ha iniziato, come ha ottenuto i fondi necessari per l'avviamento, come riesce a gestirla stando in Germania (lei non \u00e8 tedesca e il negozio non \u00e8 qui). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Le domande di G sulla mia attivit\u00e0 erano incentrate sulla dimensione <\/strong>della mia azienda, quanti dipendenti avevo. Non ci sono state domande sulla storia, sulle sfide, ecc. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Questo \u00e8 stato il punto di rottura per me. Presumo, e forse a torto, ma lo presumo comunque, che lei sia interessata soprattutto al mio denaro\/valore netto. Non il mio spirito, la mia intelligenza, il mio cuore caldo, la mia empatia o il mio equilibrio emotivo. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

3 Mi ha \"messo alla prova\"<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Durante la nostra conversazione su Tinder, G ha scritto \"devi decidere in fretta, e se vuoi che io sia la tua ragazza, dimmelo dopo tre appuntamenti\". Ho identificato questo come un tratto\/comunicazione ansiosa (i clienti ansiosi spesso vogliono avere relazioni in fretta). Le ho detto che forse avremmo dovuto uscire per la prima volta e vedere se eravamo in sintonia prima di discutere di queste cose. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In seguito, ha ammesso di avermi \"messo alla prova\" con questo. (Inoltre, una cosa che ho sentito da un'altra donna in un contesto diverso: \"L'ho fatto per la prima volta\"). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Per me questo \u00e8 molto poco attraente. Se dovete fare un test, fatelo in modo da non mettere in pericolo la relazione. Preferisco osservare le persone nel tempo, fare anche domande difficili, ma essere aperta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ad esempio, di recente ho fatto un colloquio con una persona (per una posizione in una delle mie aziende), che ha raccontato diverse cose negative sui suoi ex colleghi. Sembrava uno schema. Ho percepito un'atmosfera negativa e ho deciso di non continuare con lui. Sono riuscita a scoprire queste cose semplicemente osservando come si comportava durante il colloquio e facendo domande. Invece di fingere di volere qualcosa che in realt\u00e0 non voglio.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

O forse, G. vuole davvero una relazione dopo tre appuntamenti, ma ha visto che non \u00e8 andata troppo bene con me? Anche in questo caso, sacrificare ci\u00f2 che si vuole e poi affermare che si trattava di un \"test\" \u00e8 poco attraente per me. O lei lo vuole davvero ed \u00e8 pronta a un compromesso, oppure lo vuole e si rende conto di non poterlo avere con me - e mi dice addio. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ma tutta questa storia del \"era un test\" non mi attira. Perch\u00e9 distrugge la fiducia. <\/strong> Ora anche altre cose potrebbero essere un test: dovrei mettere in dubbio la sua comunicazione in futuro. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Se dovete fare un test, fatelo in silenzio e raccogliete dati. Dati che comunque otterrete dalle interazioni con la persona!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4 Le conversazioni non erano profonde<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Le conversazioni con lei si sono concentrate pi\u00f9 su \"quanto \u00e8 sexy e attraente\" che su argomenti pi\u00f9 profondi. Sono stato in contatto con un'altra donna nello stesso periodo, e con lei ho avuto una conversazione piacevole, che includeva battute, esplorazione di argomenti pi\u00f9 profondi, ecc. Con G. le cose sono rimaste a livello superficiale.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

TL;DR: La bellezza non \u00e8 sufficiente a catturare il mio cuore<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Dopo il secondo appuntamento video mi sono reso conto che non ero impaziente di incontrare G nella vita reale o di avere un altro appuntamento video con lei. Avevo riflettuto sul fatto che avrei potuto provare sentimenti diversi nei suoi confronti in un appuntamento reale, ma: quando faccio colloqui per le mie aziende, in realt\u00e0 ho diverse fasi. Se il colloquio telefonico non mi ispira e non sono entusiasta di un candidato, non passo alla fase successiva (giornata lavorativa di prova). Ho deciso di essere fedele alle mie emozioni e di dire addio a G.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Per inciso, G mi ha proposto di uscire con sua sorella minore, che sarebbe venuta in Germania tra un anno, perch\u00e9 \"sto cercando un uomo fantastico per lei\". Ho gentilmente rifiutato. Mi sembrava che questa offerta confermasse la mia convinzione che non si trattasse di un'eccitazione particolare nei miei confronti, ma forse della possibilit\u00e0 di \"agganciare un ricco imprenditore\". <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Foto di Igor Starkov<\/a> su Unsplash<\/a><\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I had matched with G on Tinder. She was very sexy and attractive, and also quite interested in me. For example, she was pushing towards having our video dates earlier, rather than later. I quickly identified as her probably leaning towards anxious attachment. 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Un grande fan di Thais Gibson e del suo canale YouTube e della sua scuola :-)","sameAs":["https:\/\/pi3g.com"],"url":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/it\/author\/max\/"}]}},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/igor-starkov-P-khwx2l5B0-unsplash.jpg",640,989,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/igor-starkov-P-khwx2l5B0-unsplash-150x150.jpg",150,150,true],"medium":["https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/igor-starkov-P-khwx2l5B0-unsplash-194x300.jpg",194,300,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/igor-starkov-P-khwx2l5B0-unsplash.jpg",640,989,false],"large":["https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/igor-starkov-P-khwx2l5B0-unsplash.jpg",640,989,false],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/igor-starkov-P-khwx2l5B0-unsplash.jpg",640,989,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/igor-starkov-P-khwx2l5B0-unsplash.jpg",640,989,false],"trp-custom-language-flag":["https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/igor-starkov-P-khwx2l5B0-unsplash-8x12.jpg",8,12,true]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Max","author_link":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/it\/author\/max\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"I had matched with G on Tinder. 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