{"id":94,"date":"2021-09-16T07:47:34","date_gmt":"2021-09-16T07:47:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/?p=94"},"modified":"2021-09-16T17:33:11","modified_gmt":"2021-09-16T17:33:11","slug":"tecnica-di-difesa-dellelaborazione-ombra-in-tempo-reale-protezione-dalle-critiche-ingiuste","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/it\/tecnica-di-difesa-dellelaborazione-ombra-in-tempo-reale-protezione-dalle-critiche-ingiuste\/","title":{"rendered":"Tecnica di difesa dell'elaborazione delle ombre in tempo reale (protezione contro le critiche ingiuste)"},"content":{"rendered":"
Durante una delle esplosioni emotive di mio padre con critiche nei miei confronti ho scoperto una tecnica molto efficace per proteggere le proprie emozioni (e la vulnerabilit\u00e0) da critiche ingiuste. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
L'idea \u00e8 di applicare l'elaborazione delle ombre in tempo reale dal altro <\/em>prospettiva della persona.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Se sono innescati da qualcosa, si riferisce a qualcosa dentro di loro.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Per esempio, se mi si accusa di essere insensibile, egoista, ecc. - questo \u00e8 mio padre che dice: \"Proietto il mio egoismo su di te, proietto come sono insensibile su di te, e questo mi scatena\". <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sono riuscito ad essere abbastanza calmo durante questa sessione, e a non essere emotivamente innescato io stesso. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ho capito che dietro questo suo sfogo c'\u00e8 del dolore; e dei bisogni insoddisfatti che non \u00e8 in grado di comunicare in modo diverso. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anche se lui ha affermato che non gli importa se lascio la discussione (cosa che volevo fare, dato che ero stanca e non volevo essere coinvolta in discussioni su una causa legale che la mia famiglia aveva perso) - mi sono resa conto che la cosa \"giusta\" (diminuire il danno\/sforzo sulla relazione) sarebbe stata quella di rimanere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Cos\u00ec sono rimasto, e a un certo punto sono riuscito a intavolare una discussione civile e a stemperare la tensione.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Le interazioni con mio padre mi hanno fatto interessare alla psicologia e a documentarmi sulle relazioni umane. Per tenermi al sicuro, ma vedo che queste abilit\u00e0 sono davvero molto utili anche in tutti gli altri settori della mia vita (ad esempio gli affari). <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ecco anche una transazione che ho avuto con una persona che ha risposto a un annuncio che avevamo pubblicato, cercando un nuovo impiegato per confezionare ordini:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
(io) \"Grazie per il tuo feedback e buona fortuna per la tua ricerca di lavoro\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(lui) \"Sono un maestro pittore dipendente, guadagno 4000 \u20ac lordi al mese\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Lo stipendio in questione (che sono disposto a pagare) era stato di 1800 \u20ac lordi al mese. Inizialmente avevo supposto che stesse cercando un lavoro, e che volesse essere assunto da noi, ma che avesse bisogno di uno stipendio pi\u00f9 alto (politica dell'uva acida). Ora i miei pensieri sono passati a lui che forse vuole giustizia sociale, stipendi alti per tutti, ecc. - Ho risposto che sono felice che lui abbia questo stipendio, e ho chiesto cosa lo ha spinto a scrivere il messaggio iniziale. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Forse c'\u00e8 una ragione interessante dietro. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Forse \u00e8 una proiezione di lui che si sente indegno dello stipendio che riceve attualmente. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Non prendere le cose come attacchi personali (anche se sono intesi come tali, perch\u00e9 \u00e8 il solo <\/strong>strumento che l'altra persona ha) ci permette di deescalare la situazione, e scoprire di pi\u00f9. Forse pi\u00f9 per disimpegnarsi, forse intuizioni interessanti. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Inoltre, \u00e8 anche divertente perch\u00e9 questi attacchi personali hanno lo scopo di spostare il tuo umore fuori equilibrio, e possibilmente di ottenere una reazione emotiva da te. Questo \u00e8 il motivo per cui l'altra persona sta usando questo strumento - hanno imparato che questo \u00e8 qualcosa che funziona. (poveri bastardi) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Se rispondete in modo molto diverso, e siete in grado di deviare questi attacchi personali come qualcosa che l'altra persona sta effettivamente dicendo di se stessa<\/strong>Se non riesci a capire il loro messaggio sul dolore che stanno vivendo, sarai in grado di reagire in modo costruttivo a qualcosa che viene usato in modo distruttivo da quest'altra persona. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sarai pi\u00f9 felice<\/strong>, e pi\u00f9 rilassato - e questo \u00e8 ci\u00f2 che conta. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00c8 il loro dolore, non il tuo - ma puoi capire in che modo la situazione con te li ha scatenati. Non tutte le persone hanno buone capacit\u00e0 intrapersonali. Non tutti sono riusciti a stare in un ambiente dove hanno potuto prenderle. Queste cose si imparano - e anche le critiche controproducenti \/ gli attacchi personali si imparano. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
P.S. questa persona ha risposto alla mia domanda che cosa lo ha spinto a scrivermi in modo un po' criptico \"jeder wie er es verdient\" (a ciascuno ci\u00f2 che merita \/ guadagna). <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
During one of my father’s emotional outbursts with criticism towards me I discovered a very effective technique to protect one’s own emotions (and vulnerability) against unjust criticism. The idea is to apply real-time shadow processing from the other person’s perspective. If they are triggered by something, it is referring to something within them. e.g. if […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[31],"tags":[53,49,48,54,55,21,50,52,51],"class_list":["post-94","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tools-for-emotional-work","tag-angry-people","tag-attacks","tag-criticism","tag-emotional-outbursts","tag-hate","tag-pain","tag-personal-attack","tag-shift-mood","tag-take-personal"],"yoast_head":"\n
Real-time shadow processing defense technique (protection against unjust criticism) - VitalMeaning<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/it\/tecnica-di-difesa-dellelaborazione-ombra-in-tempo-reale-protezione-dalle-critiche-ingiuste\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"it_IT\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Real-time shadow processing defense technique (protection against unjust criticism) - VitalMeaning\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"During one of my father’s emotional outbursts with criticism towards me I discovered a very effective technique to protect one’s own emotions (and vulnerability) against unjust criticism. The idea is to apply real-time shadow processing from the other person’s perspective. 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