{"id":107,"date":"2021-09-25T16:21:04","date_gmt":"2021-09-25T16:21:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/?p=107"},"modified":"2021-09-25T16:21:04","modified_gmt":"2021-09-25T16:21:04","slug":"is-het-redelijk-om-te-proberen-dit-te-controleren","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/nl\/is-het-redelijk-om-te-proberen-dit-te-controleren\/","title":{"rendered":"Is het redelijk om te proberen dit te controleren?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ik ben momenteel bezig met de \"Perfectionisme\" cursus van Thais Gibson<\/a>. Zij raadt aan om na te gaan of datgene wat wij proberen te beheersen, wel binnen onze redelijke controle ligt. En als dat niet zo is, te stoppen met proberen het te beheersen - en ons over te geven aan het resultaat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Als gedreven, perfectionistische mensen hebben wij misschien het gevoel dat \"niets onmogelijk is\", en proberen wij relaties met andere mensen op te lossen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Herhaaldelijk falen, en zoeken naar nieuwe manieren om \"het te laten werken\". <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bijvoorbeeld, de vrouw voor wie ik gevoelens heb, trekt zich terug - en ik vraag me af, of ik het ben die iets verkeerd doet, wat ik moet veranderen, en hoe ik \"van haar de informatie krijg die ik nodig heb om me aan te passen\".<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even afgezien van het feit dat het probleem misschien helemaal niet aan mijn kant ligt (ik gedraag me heel redelijk, geduldig, vriendelijk, enz). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nog steeds is mijn gedachte: \"Als ik alleen maar wist wat het is, kon ik dingen veranderen en verbeteren \/ repareren\".<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maar is het iets wat ik kan controleren?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is WETEN wat het is iets wat ik kan controleren? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Als zij niet uit zichzelf met mij wil delen, en wil werken aan het opbouwen van een relatie, is dit dan iets wat ik kan controleren? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nee. Dit is buiten mijn redelijke controle. Ze weet dat ik ge\u00efnteresseerd ben. Ik heb dus mijn deel gedaan.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ik heb ook gevraagd of het goed is haar de ruimte te geven als ze zich terugtrekt (ze heeft niet geantwoord). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dus, het enige wat ik nog kan doen is me overgeven. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Om me over te geven, en mijn behoeftes op een andere manier te gaan vervullen dan via een fantasierelatie. <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am currently working on the “Perfectionism” course by Thais Gibson. She recommends to inquire, whether the particular thing we are trying to control is actually within our reasonable control. And if not, to stop trying to control it – and surrender to the outcome. As driven, perfectionistic people, we might feel that “nothing is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,11,31],"tags":[64,66,5,65,67,62,63],"class_list":["post-107","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-emotionally-unavailable-women","category-relationships","category-tools-for-emotional-work","tag-chasing","tag-control","tag-dismissive-avoidant","tag-distancer-pursuer-dynamic-2","tag-give-up-control","tag-surrender","tag-withdrawing"],"yoast_head":"\nIs it reasonable to try and control this? - VitalMeaning<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/nl\/is-het-redelijk-om-te-proberen-dit-te-controleren\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"nl_NL\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Is it reasonable to try and control this? - VitalMeaning\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I am currently working on the “Perfectionism” course by Thais Gibson. 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