{"id":134,"date":"2021-11-13T08:49:25","date_gmt":"2021-11-13T08:49:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/?p=134"},"modified":"2021-11-13T08:52:06","modified_gmt":"2021-11-13T08:52:06","slug":"onveilige-hechtingsstijlen-en-controle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/nl\/onveilige-hechtingsstijlen-en-controle\/","title":{"rendered":"Onzekere hechtingsstijlen en controle"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Ik heb weer zo'n inzicht gehad. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We willen allemaal bepaalde doelen bereiken, en in wezen onze emoties onder controle houden. Sommige mensen gebruiken directe methoden om dit te doen - bijvoorbeeld door grenzen te stellen, en zich te distanti\u00ebren van mensen die de grenzen niet respecteren. (Daarmee in wezen een hardere grens stellend). En door om te gaan met mensen die veilig zijn en consistente liefde geven (omdat ze daar intrinsiek toe in staat zijn). <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Andere mensen hebben in hun jeugd geleerd dat het niet veilig is om grenzen te stellen. Dat grenzen genegeerd zullen worden. Of misschien, dat andere mensen als ze te dichtbij komen <strong>zal<\/strong> overweldigen hen. Dus trekken ze zich terug (afwijzende ontwijkers) - en <strong>controle <\/strong>de nabijheid en hun angst die deze nabijheid veroorzaakt door zich terug te trekken. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Anderen hebben geleerd dat zij extreem agressief en manipulatief moeten zijn om de aandacht van de ander te krijgen. Mijn (enige tot nu toe) ex-vriendin heeft bijvoorbeeld geprobeerd mij jaloers te maken. Het werkte niet zoals zij het bedoeld had ... (angstige gehechtheid). Ze proberen ook om <strong>controle <\/strong>de nabijheid. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>In wezen gaat dit allemaal over controle.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>En <span style=\"text-decoration: underline\" class=\"underline\">niet<\/span> controle over de andere persoon, zoals je na\u00efef zou kunnen veronderstellen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dit gaat over controle <strong>van onze eigen emotionele toestanden. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dit beseffen maakt het eigenlijk makkelijker om los te laten. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Laat situaties los die ons niet langer dienen (zoals de Thais het zouden zeggen). <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kom op, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=oonHquCgFl4\">trek iets comfortabelers aan<\/a>. Laat los wat je toch niet kunt controleren - een ander persoon. Kies ervoor om de situatie te zien zoals ze is. Laat je angsten rusten. Zij hebben hun zegje gedaan, nu moeten we verder kijken. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Overgave. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>En vergeet de grenzen niet - de <strong>echte controle <\/strong>heb je. <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve had another one of these insights. We all want to achieve certain goals, and essentially control our emotions. Some people use direct methods to do this &#8211; for example by setting boundaries, and dissociating from people who disrespect the boundaries. (Thereby essentially setting a harder boundary). And associating with people who are safe &amp; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-134","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-boundaries","category-relationships"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Insecure attachment styles and control - VitalMeaning<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/nl\/onveilige-hechtingsstijlen-en-controle\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"nl_NL\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Insecure attachment styles and control - VitalMeaning\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I&#8217;ve had another one of these insights. 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Currently into Raspberry Pi, Artificial Intelligence, and Personal Development. A big fan of Thais Gibson and her YouTube channel &amp; school :-)\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/pi3g.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/nl\/author\/max\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Onveilige hechtingsstijlen en controle - VitalMeaning","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/nl\/onveilige-hechtingsstijlen-en-controle\/","og_locale":"nl_NL","og_type":"article","og_title":"Insecure attachment styles and control - VitalMeaning","og_description":"I&#8217;ve had another one of these insights. We all want to achieve certain goals, and essentially control our emotions. 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