{"id":197,"date":"2022-01-07T06:55:19","date_gmt":"2022-01-07T06:55:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/?p=197"},"modified":"2022-01-07T06:55:20","modified_gmt":"2022-01-07T06:55:20","slug":"om-mijn-doel-te-bereiken-moet-de-ander-veranderen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/nl\/om-mijn-doel-te-bereiken-moet-de-ander-veranderen\/","title":{"rendered":"Om mijn doel te bereiken moet de andere persoon veranderen"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Als ik ze maar een beetje meer open kon krijgen\". <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Ze zijn altijd zo afstandelijk\" of \"Ze zitten altijd over me heen, kunnen ze me niet met rust laten?\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Het lijkt erop dat, als die andere persoon maar zou veranderen, de wereld voor jou in regenbogen en zonneschijn zou veranderen. Je zou op magische wijze al je doelen bereiken.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ontwaken<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Onthoud: dit zijn je <\/strong>doelen, niet de doelen van de andere persoon. Dus zullen zij alleen verandering <\/strong>te bereiken hun eigen doelen<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Als jouw doelen toevallig samenvallen met hun doelen - dan zal de magie gebeuren. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anders, als je er op een of andere manier in slaagt hen te dwingen, over te halen of te overtuigen om te veranderen, zal er wrok zijn. En gebrek aan opvolging. Onrust aan beide kanten. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

De verandering is binnen <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

De verandering moet in jezelf plaatsvinden. In plaats van de ander te willen veranderen (\"mijn DA moet leren toenadering te zoeken\") vraag je jezelf af: welk doel probeer je te bereiken? Welke hulpmiddelen gebruik je voor dit doel? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Proberen andere mensen te veranderen is een zeer ineffectief middel. Het is niet jouw verantwoordelijkheid, en in de meeste gevallen is het onmogelijk om andere mensen effectief te veranderen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Denk eraan: zij hebben hun eigen levenservaring doorgemaakt, en de keuzes die zij maken, de redenen die erachter zitten, zijn gebaseerd op de logica van hun ervaring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Het is niet mogelijk om je ervaring rechtstreeks over te dragen en het voor hen echt te maken. Zij kunnen alleen met u resoneren voor zover zij ook soortgelijke ervaringen hebben meegemaakt. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Voor mijn vrienden met controle problemen<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Kalmeert u door controle over een situatie te nemen? Of heb je het gevoel dat maximale controle uitoefenen op een situatie zal helpen om de situatie te beheersen en je te beschermen? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tijd om los te laten. Dit is een ineffectieve \"hamer\" die delicate relaties kan verbrijzelen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Niemand houdt ervan om gecontroleerd te worden (behalve de BDSM mensen denk ik). Ja, mensen willen geleid worden, maar ze willen niet voorbij een bepaald punt beperkt worden. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Als je de controle overdrijft, verlies je de controle. Dat is de aard van het spel, mensen!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Foto door Piotr Wilk<\/a> op Unsplash<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“If I could just get them to open up a little more”. “They are always so distant” or “They are always all over me, can’t they leave me alone?” It seems that, if only this other person would change, the world would turn into rainbows and sunshine for you. 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