{"id":380,"date":"2023-05-07T10:48:54","date_gmt":"2023-05-07T10:48:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/?p=380"},"modified":"2023-05-07T10:52:42","modified_gmt":"2023-05-07T10:52:42","slug":"de-kracht-van-expliciete-communicatie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/nl\/de-kracht-van-expliciete-communicatie\/","title":{"rendered":"De kracht van expliciete communicatie"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ik had maar \u00e9\u00e9n vriendin tot nu toe, en we gingen uit elkaar vanwege een teddybeer. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dat is overdreven natuurlijk, er waren andere zaken, maar de teddy was een symbool. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Het verhaal gaat als volgt: we ontmoetten elkaar, gingen uit, hadden seks. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ik begon me terug te trekken, en zij raakte daardoor steeds meer gestrest. Ze probeerde me bijvoorbeeld jaloers te maken (\"wat vind je van die jongen?\"), wat niet werkte. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ze vertelde me \"Ik hou van Sarees\" toen ik zei dat ik op reis ging naar India. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ik hou ook van sarees (op vrouwen), maar ik dacht niet veel van die opmerking. Ik ging naar India, en kocht een teddybeer voor haar, omdat Valentijnsdag eraan kwam.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Het moest een verrassing zijn, maar tijdens een videogesprek raadde ze wat er in de tas zat. En ze was niet blij! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Ik wilde een Saree en alles wat je me gaf was deze kleine teddybeer!\". Op dat moment was ik nog onzekerder over mezelf en het stellen van grenzen - dus ik zei \"natuurlijk niet\", ging naar buiten en kocht een ketting. Uiteindelijk brachten we Valentijnsdag niet samen door en gaf ik de ketting terug; <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Als ik bekend <\/strong>(of begreep) dat ze een Saree wilde, zou ik haar er een gegeven hebben. Ze had zelfs de kleur kunnen kiezen!<\/strong> Expliciete communicatie, alstublieft!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

En als ze van verrassingen houdt, had de teddy bovenop de sari kunnen liggen - en hadden we een leuke Valentijn gehad met twee verrassingen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mogelijk zijn er culturele verschillen, en ja, misschien moet ik me vanuit haar standpunt laten zien als een kostwinner met hogere materialistische investeringen. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maar ik zal geen gedachtenlezer worden. Dat is een gevaarlijk pad, en er zijn veel vrouwen daarbuiten die mij niet nodig hebben om het te rijgen...<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

De teddy was een symbool van wat er misging tussen ons - we spraken onze behoeften niet uit naar elkaar, en communiceerden niet expliciet. De teddy was een symbool van \"Ik denk aan je\" van mijn kant. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Epiloog<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Later, toen we al uit elkaar waren, probeerde ze een van mijn beste vrienden over te halen om een sari voor haar te kopen. Hij begreep er helemaal niets van. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Haar beste kans was geweest om rechtstreeks met mij te communiceren: \"Cool, je gaat naar India? Kun je me een blauwe Sari brengen?<\/strong> Misschien als je me wat foto's stuurt als je daar bent, kan ik je vertellen welke ik mooi vind.\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Foto door Sandy Millar<\/a> op Unsplash<\/a><\/em><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I had only one girlfriend so far, and we broke up because of a teddy bear. That is exaggerating of course, there were other issues, but the teddy was a symbol. The story goes like this: we met, dated, had sex. I started to withdraw, and she started to become increasingly stressed because of this. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":381,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,11,10],"tags":[172,169,168,32,167,170,171],"class_list":["post-380","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-boundaries","category-relationships","category-self-defeating-behaviors","tag-desires","tag-explicit-communication","tag-implicit-communication","tag-needs","tag-saree","tag-talking","tag-wishes"],"yoast_head":"\nThe power of explicit communication - VitalMeaning<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/nl\/de-kracht-van-expliciete-communicatie\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"nl_NL\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The power of explicit communication - VitalMeaning\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I had only one girlfriend so far, and we broke up because of a teddy bear. 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