{"id":109,"date":"2021-10-02T15:13:02","date_gmt":"2021-10-02T15:13:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/?p=109"},"modified":"2021-10-02T15:14:33","modified_gmt":"2021-10-02T15:14:33","slug":"att-hora-nej-i-kanske","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/sv\/att-hora-nej-i-kanske\/","title":{"rendered":"Att h\u00f6ra \"nej\" i \"kanske\""},"content":{"rendered":"<p>N\u00e4r vi \u00e4r f\u00f6r\u00e4lskade i n\u00e5gon fokuserar vi p\u00e5 \"ja\" i \"kanske\". <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Idag \u00e4r det dags f\u00f6r mig att h\u00f6ra \"nej\" ocks\u00e5. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Min k\u00e4rlek och jag har en cykel som l\u00f6per p\u00e5 f\u00f6ljande s\u00e4tt:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Hon ber om urs\u00e4kt f\u00f6r den l\u00e5nga tid som jag inte h\u00f6rde av henne (under vilken jag gav henne utrymme).<\/li><li>Vi b\u00f6rjar interagera igen - jag skickar henne bilder ibland, vi pratar om olika saker, jag f\u00f6rs\u00f6ker h\u00e5lla det mesta l\u00e4ttsamt.<\/li><li>Jag kanske ber henne att prata med mig i telefon (hon bor i USA, jag bor i Tyskland, s\u00e5 vi tr\u00e4ffas normalt sett inte).<\/li><li>Hon kanske till och med s\u00e4ger: \"Visst, f\u00f6resl\u00e5 en tid\".<\/li><li>Jag f\u00f6resl\u00e5r en tidpunkt<\/li><li>Jag h\u00f6r inte av henne - kanske l\u00e4ser hon det sista meddelandet, kanske g\u00f6r hon det inte (l\u00e4mnar det ol\u00e4st).<\/li><li>Jag ger henne utrymme<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>I dag var jag \u00e5terigen nedst\u00e4md \u00f6ver detta och bes\u00f6kte mina morf\u00f6r\u00e4ldrars grav. Det finns inget b\u00e4ttre \u00e4n en kyrkog\u00e5rd f\u00f6r att p\u00e5minna en om att alla fr\u00e5gor och problem \u00e4r relativa och att livet \u00e4r mycket kort ... <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>P\u00e5 v\u00e4gen dit fick jag en id\u00e9 som jag vill dela med mig av h\u00e4r idag:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Hon kan inte k\u00e4nna k\u00e4rlek p\u00e5 det s\u00e4tt som jag presenterar den f\u00f6r henne, f\u00f6r hon har aldrig l\u00e4rt sig det.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>N\u00e4r hon drar sig tillbaka \u00e4r det verkligen <strong>eftersom hon <span style=\"text-decoration: underline\" class=\"underline\">uppfattar <\/span>mina handlingar som negativa\/hotfulla <\/strong>\/ ser fler nackdelar med mitt beteende. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Det finns inget jag kan g\u00f6ra (i alla fall inget som hon har meddelat mig) f\u00f6r att \u00e4ndra p\u00e5 det: <strong>Det \u00e4r en fr\u00e5ga om uppfattning fr\u00e5n hennes sida.<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Genom sitt beteende visar hon mig att hon inte beh\u00f6ver \"mer av det\". Nej - hon drar sig undan, hon st\u00e4nger av mig. <strong>Hon visar mig att detta inte \u00e4r bra f\u00f6r henne.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Och det \u00e4r detta \"nej\" jag talar om. Det uttrycks inte i ord (\u00e4ven om hon hade tackat nej till en f\u00f6delsedagspresent fr\u00e5n mig) - det uttrycks i handling. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u00c4ven om hon \u00e4r tveksam och skickar mig blandade budskap (smileys med hj\u00e4rtan osv.) \u00e4r detta ett starkt nej fr\u00e5n hennes sida. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ett nej kanske p\u00e5 grund av hennes traumatiska f\u00f6rflutna, men en <strong>ingen <\/strong>vilka jag m\u00e5ste lyssna p\u00e5 och vilka jag m\u00e5ste respektera. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>F\u00f6r ingenting kommer att f\u00f6r\u00e4ndras, och jag och min k\u00e4rlek passar inte in i l\u00e5set som kommer att \"\u00f6ppna hennes hj\u00e4rta\". Sorgligt, men sant. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Om du befinner dig i en liknande situation f\u00f6resl\u00e5r jag att du unders\u00f6ker om det \u00e4r ett m\u00f6nster - eller en eng\u00e5ngsf\u00f6reteelse. Om det \u00e4r ett cykliskt m\u00f6nster av tillbakadragande, s\u00e5 kanske ditt k\u00e4rleksintresse ocks\u00e5 har ett \"nej\" inom sitt kanske, och de beh\u00f6ver g\u00f6ra arbete p\u00e5 sin sida innan det blir ett starkt ja. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Jag planerar nu att ta upp den h\u00e4r fr\u00e5gan med henne n\u00e4r hon \u00e5terigen startar v\u00e5r cykel, f\u00f6r att vara r\u00e4ttvis mot mig sj\u00e4lv och f\u00f6r att sluta vara ett hot mot henne.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Jag kommer att erbjuda henne v\u00e4nskap tills det blir ett starkt \"ja\" fr\u00e5n hennes sida. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Jag planerar att b\u00f6rja tr\u00e4ffa andra kvinnor igen, n\u00e4r jag v\u00e4l har gett henne detta erbjudande. <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When we are in love with someone, we focus on the &#8220;yes&#8221; in the &#8220;maybe&#8221;. Today, for me, it is time to hear the &#8220;no&#8221;, as well. My love interest and me, we have a cycle which runs as follows: she apologizes for the long delay in which I didn&#8217;t hear from her (during which [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[69,5,9,68],"class_list":["post-109","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-emotionally-unavailable-women","tag-chasing-emotionally-unavailable-women","tag-dismissive-avoidant","tag-distancer-pursuer-dynamic","tag-withdrawal"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Hearing the &quot;no&quot; in the &quot;maybe&quot; - VitalMeaning<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/sv\/att-hora-nej-i-kanske\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"sv_SE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Hearing the &quot;no&quot; in the &quot;maybe&quot; - VitalMeaning\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When we are in love with someone, we focus on the &#8220;yes&#8221; in the &#8220;maybe&#8221;. 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