{"id":72,"date":"2021-09-04T07:14:55","date_gmt":"2021-09-04T07:14:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/?p=72"},"modified":"2021-09-04T09:39:56","modified_gmt":"2021-09-04T09:39:56","slug":"upprord-om-avstand-gor-gyllene-skugga-arbete","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/sv\/upprord-om-avstand-gor-gyllene-skugga-arbete\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00c4r du uppr\u00f6rd \u00f6ver avst\u00e5ndet? G\u00f6r gyllene skuggarbete"},"content":{"rendered":"

Den kvinna jag \u00e4lskar \u00e4r den b\u00e4sta l\u00e4raren f\u00f6r mig. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hon drar sig undan fr\u00e5n mig. Jag b\u00f6rjar fundera p\u00e5 hur jag ska \"vinna henne\", hur jag ska \"\u00f6vertyga henne om att bygga upp en relation med mig\". Ja, vi har fastnat i \"v\u00e4nner eller mer?\"-stadiet. Jag f\u00e5r blandade signaler fr\u00e5n henne och \u00e4r f\u00f6rvirrad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jag hade rusat runt och varit besatt, l\u00e4st om avvisande undvikare, anknytningsstilar, motberoende personer, tv\u00e5ngsm\u00e4ssiga personligheter osv. - f\u00f6r att f\u00f6rs\u00f6ka f\u00f6rst\u00e5 henne, f\u00f6r att hitta \"magisk nyckel<\/strong>\", vilket \u00e4ntligen skulle f\u00e5 henne att inse min k\u00e4rlek, osv. Jag f\u00f6rs\u00f6ker kontrollera situationen genom att hitta en l\u00f6sning som g\u00f6r oss b\u00e5da lyckliga. L\u00e5ter detta bekant?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Du f\u00f6rst\u00e5r, hon \u00e4r medveten om min h\u00e4ngivenhet f\u00f6r henne och att jag bryr mig om henne. Hon beh\u00f6ver inga ytterligare bevis. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hon beh\u00f6ver mindre press. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

F\u00f6re ig\u00e5r t\u00e4nkte jag att det \u00e4r hon <\/strong>som beh\u00f6ver ge mig en riktig chans. Och jag m\u00e5ste \"\u00f6vertyga\" henne p\u00e5 n\u00e5got s\u00e4tt. Jag m\u00e5ste \"f\u00e5 henne att se ljuset\". <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I g\u00e5r kom jag p\u00e5 id\u00e9n att det \u00e4r jag som m\u00e5ste ge oss en verklig chans.<\/strong><\/span>. Det var en bra tanke och ett paradigmskifte.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mindre press p\u00e5 min \u00e4lskade<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Hon beh\u00f6ver mindre press. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jag har varit t\u00e5lmodig och har behandlat henne mycket bra, har accepterat n\u00e4r hon drar sig tillbaka osv. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Detta \u00f6kade i sin tur det inre trycket i mig, trycket p\u00e5 att p\u00e5 n\u00e5got s\u00e4tt f\u00e5 saker och ting att g\u00e5 fram\u00e5t, \u00e4ven med \"mindre press p\u00e5 henne\". <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jag \u00e4r st\u00e4ndigt orolig f\u00f6r att \"vara f\u00f6r mycket\" (fortfarande), f\u00f6r att irritera henne, f\u00f6r att inte s\u00e4ga r\u00e4tt saker, ... <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ser du hur trycket p\u00e5 henne fortfarande finns kvar?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Idag fick jag ytterligare en insikt. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jag m\u00e5ste ta bort trycket p\u00e5 mig sj\u00e4lv f\u00f6r att kunna ta bort trycket p\u00e5 henne.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mindre press p\u00e5 mig sj\u00e4lv<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Det \u00e4rliga sk\u00e4let till att vi blir f\u00f6r\u00e4lskade i m\u00e4nniskor \u00e4r att de passar bra in i v\u00e5rt undermedvetna och att de (underf\u00f6rst\u00e5tt) lovar att uppfylla m\u00e5nga av v\u00e5ra behov. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

N\u00e4r det g\u00e4ller min \u00e4lskade \u00e4r det t.ex. saker som hennes k\u00e4nsla f\u00f6r \u00e4ventyr, resor, att leva och njuta av livet. Detta \u00e4r l\u00f6ftet till mig: \"Om jag bara kan \u00f6vertyga henne att bli min flickv\u00e4n kommer jag att f\u00e5 alla dessa saker\". <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Och detta \u00e4r k\u00e4llan till trycket! Jag l\u00e4ngtar desperat efter dessa saker, och hon verkar vara \"den b\u00e4sta l\u00f6sningen\" f\u00f6r dem. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ja, jag tycker verkligen om henne som m\u00e4nniska. Ja, jag \u00e4lskar henne f\u00f6r henne sj\u00e4lv, jag har mycket medlidande med henne, hon \u00e4r s\u00f6t och mycket sexig. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men trycket<\/strong>, pressen p\u00e5 mig sj\u00e4lv att \"f\u00e5 henne\" och den k\u00e4nslom\u00e4ssiga berg- och dalbanan. beror p\u00e5 att jag inte kan tillgodose mina egna behov p\u00e5 egen hand.<\/strong> - och v\u00e4ntade p\u00e5 att hon skulle m\u00f6ta dem. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jag \u00e4r desperat, och det g\u00f6r det mycket sv\u00e5rare f\u00f6r mig att visa upp mig p\u00e5 b\u00e4sta s\u00e4tt f\u00f6r henne, p\u00e5 det s\u00e4tt hon f\u00f6rtj\u00e4nar att jag visar upp mig.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Arbete med gyllene skuggor<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

En annan fantastisk sak som jag har l\u00e4rt mig av Thais Gibsons Skuggarbete: hur du \u00f6vervinner dina k\u00e4nslor av ov\u00e4rdighet<\/em><\/a> kursen \u00e4r den gyllene skugga <\/strong>arbete.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Den bygger p\u00e5 Carl Gustav Jungs arbete. I korthet inneb\u00e4r det att vi projicerar egenskaper som vi faktiskt har sj\u00e4lva, men som vi f\u00f6rtr\u00e4nger, p\u00e5 andra m\u00e4nniskor och upplever intensiva positiva k\u00e4nslor f\u00f6r dem. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jag har faktiskt g\u00e5tt igenom kursen Shadow Work och jag har identifierat de egenskaper som jag finner mycket tilltalande hos den kvinna jag \u00e4lskar. (Om du \u00e4r intresserad av hur detta g\u00e5r till rekommenderar jag att du g\u00e5r till g\u00e5 med i Thail\u00e4ndarnas skola f\u00f6r personlighetsutveckling<\/a> - hon har en gratis provperiod). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Men jag har inte gjort s\u00e5 mycket f\u00f6r att aktivt anv\u00e4nda dessa egenskaper i mitt liv; ist\u00e4llet har jag g\u00e5tt ner i samma kaninh\u00e5l av \"att f\u00f6rs\u00f6ka hitta en l\u00f6sning med henne\". <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Detta \u00e4r en p\u00e5minnelse till mig sj\u00e4lv - jag m\u00e5ste fokusera p\u00e5 mig sj\u00e4lv och mina behov. Och jag m\u00e5ste hitta s\u00e4tt - som inte involverar min \u00e4lskade! - f\u00f6r att tillgodose dessa behov. N\u00e4r de v\u00e4l \u00e4r uppfyllda kommer jag att bli mycket mer avslappnad. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

D\u00e5 kommer jag att ge oss en verklig chans.<\/strong> Det ligger i mina h\u00e4nder, l\u00f6sningen ligger hos mig och mitt liv och inte hos henne.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Banketten<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

F\u00f6rest\u00e4ll dig att du \u00e4r hungrig och blir inbjuden till en bankett - du kanske inte har med dig ditt b\u00e4sta bordsskick, eftersom allt du vill ha och allt du t\u00e4nker p\u00e5 \u00e4r f\u00f6r att fylla din mage s\u00e5 snart som m\u00f6jligt.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Om maten \u00e5 andra sidan \u00e4r riklig och alltid tillg\u00e4nglig, kommer du att vara mer uppm\u00e4rksam p\u00e5 bordsskick, kunna njuta av musiken p\u00e5 banketten, dansarna, dekorationen och f\u00f6ra trevliga samtal med de andra g\u00e4sterna. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Detta \u00e4r vad jag kommer att g\u00f6ra nu, under resten av \u00e5ret - jag kommer att g\u00e5 tillbaka till anteckningarna om det arbete med gyllene skuggor som jag har gjort, och jag fokuserar p\u00e5 att uppfylla mina behov och ta mig tid f\u00f6r dem.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Det \u00e4r slut med att l\u00e4sa om anknytningsstilar och f\u00f6rs\u00f6ka hitta \"l\u00f6sningen p\u00e5 hennes problem\" - hon kommer att g\u00f6ra det som \u00e4r b\u00e4st f\u00f6r henne. Och om jag g\u00f6r det som \u00e4r b\u00e4st f\u00f6r mig nu, kommer det inte att finnas n\u00e5gon press p\u00e5 henne att \"komma ihop med mig f\u00f6r att jag beh\u00f6ver henne\".<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Det kommer endast att finnas en inbjudan <\/strong>att bli min flickv\u00e4n eftersom jag bryr mig mycket om henne och jag vill ge henne gl\u00e4dje i livet\". <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The woman I love is the greatest teacher to me. She withdraws from me. I start obsessing about how to “win her”, how to “convince her to build a relationship with me.” Yes, we’re kind of stuck in the “friends or more?” stage. I’m getting mixed signals from her, and am confused. I had been […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,31],"tags":[12,5,9,4,32,33,14,3],"class_list":["post-72","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationships","category-tools-for-emotional-work","tag-boundaries","tag-dismissive-avoidant","tag-distancer-pursuer-dynamic","tag-emotionally-unavailable","tag-needs","tag-pressure","tag-running-away","tag-woman"],"yoast_head":"\nUpset about distance? Do golden shadow work - VitalMeaning<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/sv\/upprord-om-avstand-gor-gyllene-skugga-arbete\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"sv_SE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Upset about distance? Do golden shadow work - VitalMeaning\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The woman I love is the greatest teacher to me. She withdraws from me. I start obsessing about how to “win her”, how to “convince her to build a relationship with me.” Yes, we’re kind of stuck in the “friends or more?” stage. I’m getting mixed signals from her, and am confused. 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G\u00f6r ett gyllene skuggarbete - VitalMeaning","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2021-09-04T07:14:55+00:00","dateModified":"2021-09-04T09:39:56+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/#\/schema\/person\/c2f46184a8199a4eeb7d1ed7ea80bcff"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/upset-about-distance-do-golden-shadow-work\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"sv-SE","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/upset-about-distance-do-golden-shadow-work\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/upset-about-distance-do-golden-shadow-work\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Upset about distance? 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F\u00f6r n\u00e4rvarande h\u00e5ller jag p\u00e5 med Raspberry Pi, artificiell intelligens och personlig utveckling. Ett stort fan av Thais Gibson och hennes YouTube-kanal och skola :-)","sameAs":["https:\/\/pi3g.com"],"url":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/sv\/author\/max\/"}]}},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":false,"thumbnail":false,"medium":false,"medium_large":false,"large":false,"1536x1536":false,"2048x2048":false,"trp-custom-language-flag":false},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Max","author_link":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/sv\/author\/max\/"},"uagb_comment_info":2,"uagb_excerpt":"The woman I love is the greatest teacher to me. She withdraws from me. I start obsessing about how to “win her”, how to “convince her to build a relationship with me.” Yes, we’re kind of stuck in the “friends or more?” stage. I’m getting mixed signals from her, and am confused. 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