{"id":94,"date":"2021-09-16T07:47:34","date_gmt":"2021-09-16T07:47:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/?p=94"},"modified":"2021-09-16T17:33:11","modified_gmt":"2021-09-16T17:33:11","slug":"skuggbearbetning-i-realtid-forsvarsteknik-skydd-mot-orattvis-kritik","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/sv\/skuggbearbetning-i-realtid-forsvarsteknik-skydd-mot-orattvis-kritik\/","title":{"rendered":"F\u00f6rsvarsteknik f\u00f6r skuggbearbetning i realtid (skydd mot or\u00e4ttvis kritik)."},"content":{"rendered":"
Under ett av min fars k\u00e4nslom\u00e4ssiga utbrott av kritik mot mig uppt\u00e4ckte jag en mycket effektiv teknik f\u00f6r att skydda sina egna k\u00e4nslor (och sin s\u00e5rbarhet) mot or\u00e4ttvis kritik. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Tanken \u00e4r att till\u00e4mpa skuggbearbetning i realtid fr\u00e5n den andra <\/em>personens perspektiv.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Om de utl\u00f6ses av n\u00e5got, \u00e4r det n\u00e5got inom dem sj\u00e4lva.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n
t.ex. om jag anklagas f\u00f6r att vara ok\u00e4nslig, egoistisk osv. - s\u00e5 \u00e4r det min far som s\u00e4ger detta: \"Jag projicerar min egoism p\u00e5 dig, jag projicerar hur ok\u00e4nslig jag \u00e4r p\u00e5 dig, och det triggar mig\". <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jag lyckades vara ganska lugn under den h\u00e4r sessionen och inte sj\u00e4lv bli k\u00e4nslom\u00e4ssigt utl\u00f6st. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jag ins\u00e5g att bakom hans utbrott finns sm\u00e4rta och otillfredsst\u00e4llda behov som han inte kan kommunicera p\u00e5 ett annat s\u00e4tt. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00c4ven om han h\u00e4vdade att han inte bryr sig om jag l\u00e4mnar diskussionen (vilket jag hade velat g\u00f6ra, eftersom jag var tr\u00f6tt och inte ville bli involverad i diskussioner om ett r\u00e4ttsfall som min familj hade f\u00f6rlorat) - ins\u00e5g jag att det \"r\u00e4tta\" (f\u00f6r att minska skadan\/belastningen p\u00e5 f\u00f6rh\u00e5llandet) skulle vara att stanna.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
S\u00e5 jag stannade kvar och lyckades vid n\u00e5got tillf\u00e4lle inleda en civiliserad diskussion och minska sp\u00e4nningen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Samspelet med min far fick mig att intressera mig f\u00f6r psykologi och att l\u00e4sa om m\u00e4nskliga relationer. F\u00f6r att h\u00e5lla mig s\u00e4ker, men jag ser att dessa f\u00e4rdigheter verkligen \u00e4r till stor nytta \u00e4ven p\u00e5 alla andra omr\u00e5den i mitt liv (t.ex. aff\u00e4rsverksamhet). <\/p>\n\n\n\n
H\u00e4r \u00e4r ocks\u00e5 en transaktion som jag hade med en person som svarade p\u00e5 en annons som vi hade lagt ut, d\u00e4r vi s\u00f6kte en ny anst\u00e4lld som skulle packa best\u00e4llningar:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
(jag) \"Tack f\u00f6r din feedback och lycka till med ditt jobbs\u00f6kande\"<\/p>\n\n\n\n
(han) \"Jag \u00e4r en anst\u00e4lld m\u00e5larm\u00e4stare som tj\u00e4nar 4000 euro brutto i m\u00e5naden\".<\/p>\n\n\n\n
L\u00f6nen i fr\u00e5ga (som jag \u00e4r beredd att betala) hade varit 1800 euro brutto per m\u00e5nad. Till en b\u00f6rjan hade jag antagit att han s\u00f6kte ett jobb och ville bli anst\u00e4lld av oss, men att han beh\u00f6vde en h\u00f6gre l\u00f6n (sura k\u00e4nslor). Nu har mina tankar g\u00e5tt \u00f6ver till att han m\u00f6jligen vill ha social r\u00e4ttvisa, h\u00f6ga l\u00f6ner f\u00f6r alla osv. - Jag svarade att jag \u00e4r glad att han har den h\u00e4r l\u00f6nen och fr\u00e5gade vad som fick honom att skriva det f\u00f6rsta meddelandet. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kanske finns det en intressant anledning bakom detta. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Kanske \u00e4r det en projektion av att han k\u00e4nner sig ov\u00e4rdig den l\u00f6n han f\u00e5r f\u00f6r n\u00e4rvarande. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Att inte ta saker och ting som personliga angrepp (\u00e4ven om de \u00e4r menade som s\u00e5dana, eftersom det \u00e4r endast <\/strong>verktyg som den andra personen har) g\u00f6r det m\u00f6jligt f\u00f6r oss att avdramatisera situationen och ta reda p\u00e5 mer. Kanske mer att koppla bort, kanske intressanta insikter. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dessutom \u00e4r det ocks\u00e5 roligt eftersom dessa personliga attacker \u00e4r avsedda att f\u00e5 ditt hum\u00f6r ur balans och eventuellt f\u00e5 en k\u00e4nslom\u00e4ssig reaktion fr\u00e5n dig. Det \u00e4r d\u00e4rf\u00f6r den andra personen anv\u00e4nder detta verktyg - de har l\u00e4rt sig att detta \u00e4r n\u00e5got som fungerar. (stackars j\u00e4vlar) <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Om du svarar mycket annorlunda, och om du har m\u00f6jlighet att avleda dessa personliga attacker som n\u00e5got som den andra personen faktiskt s\u00e4ger om sig sj\u00e4lv.<\/strong>Om du kan f\u00e5 ett meddelande om den sm\u00e4rta du upplever och reagera konstruktivt p\u00e5 n\u00e5got som anv\u00e4nds p\u00e5 ett destruktivt s\u00e4tt av den andra personen, kommer du att kunna ta emot deras budskap. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Du blir lyckligare<\/strong>, och mer avslappnad - och det \u00e4r det som r\u00e4knas. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Det \u00e4r deras sm\u00e4rta, inte din - men du kan f\u00f6rst\u00e5 p\u00e5 vilket s\u00e4tt situationen med dig utl\u00f6ste dem. Det \u00e4r inte alla m\u00e4nniskor som har goda intrapersonella f\u00e4rdigheter. Alla har inte lyckats vara i en milj\u00f6 d\u00e4r de kunde h\u00e4mta upp dessa. Dessa saker l\u00e4r man sig - och den kontraproduktiva kritiken\/personangreppen l\u00e4r man sig ocks\u00e5. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
P.S. Den h\u00e4r personen svarade p\u00e5 min fr\u00e5ga om vad som motiverade honom att skriva till mig n\u00e5got kryptiskt \"jeder wie er es verdient\" (\"Var och en vad han f\u00f6rtj\u00e4nar\"). <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
During one of my father’s emotional outbursts with criticism towards me I discovered a very effective technique to protect one’s own emotions (and vulnerability) against unjust criticism. The idea is to apply real-time shadow processing from the other person’s perspective. If they are triggered by something, it is referring to something within them. e.g. if […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[31],"tags":[53,49,48,54,55,21,50,52,51],"class_list":["post-94","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tools-for-emotional-work","tag-angry-people","tag-attacks","tag-criticism","tag-emotional-outbursts","tag-hate","tag-pain","tag-personal-attack","tag-shift-mood","tag-take-personal"],"yoast_head":"\n
Real-time shadow processing defense technique (protection against unjust criticism) - VitalMeaning<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/sv\/skuggbearbetning-i-realtid-forsvarsteknik-skydd-mot-orattvis-kritik\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"sv_SE\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Real-time shadow processing defense technique (protection against unjust criticism) - VitalMeaning\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"During one of my father’s emotional outbursts with criticism towards me I discovered a very effective technique to protect one’s own emotions (and vulnerability) against unjust criticism. The idea is to apply real-time shadow processing from the other person’s perspective. 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If they are triggered by something, it is referring to something within them. e.g. if […]","og_url":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/sv\/skuggbearbetning-i-realtid-forsvarsteknik-skydd-mot-orattvis-kritik\/","og_site_name":"VitalMeaning","article_published_time":"2021-09-16T07:47:34+00:00","article_modified_time":"2021-09-16T17:33:11+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/image-2.png","type":"","width":"","height":""}],"author":"Max","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Skriven av":"Max","Ber\u00e4knad l\u00e4stid":"3 minuter"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/real-time-shadow-processing-defense-technique-protection-against-unjust-criticism\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/real-time-shadow-processing-defense-technique-protection-against-unjust-criticism\/"},"author":{"name":"Max","@id":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/#\/schema\/person\/c2f46184a8199a4eeb7d1ed7ea80bcff"},"headline":"Real-time shadow processing defense technique (protection against unjust criticism)","datePublished":"2021-09-16T07:47:34+00:00","dateModified":"2021-09-16T17:33:11+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/real-time-shadow-processing-defense-technique-protection-against-unjust-criticism\/"},"wordCount":657,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/real-time-shadow-processing-defense-technique-protection-against-unjust-criticism\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/09\/image-2.png","keywords":["angry people","attacks","criticism","emotional outbursts","hate","pain","personal attack","shift mood","take personal"],"articleSection":["tools for emotional work"],"inLanguage":"sv-SE","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/real-time-shadow-processing-defense-technique-protection-against-unjust-criticism\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/real-time-shadow-processing-defense-technique-protection-against-unjust-criticism\/","url":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/real-time-shadow-processing-defense-technique-protection-against-unjust-criticism\/","name":"F\u00f6rsvarsteknik f\u00f6r skuggbehandling i realtid (skydd mot or\u00e4ttvis kritik) - 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F\u00f6r n\u00e4rvarande h\u00e5ller jag p\u00e5 med Raspberry Pi, artificiell intelligens och personlig utveckling. Ett stort fan av Thais Gibson och hennes YouTube-kanal och skola :-)","sameAs":["https:\/\/pi3g.com"],"url":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/sv\/author\/max\/"}]}},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":false,"thumbnail":false,"medium":false,"medium_large":false,"large":false,"1536x1536":false,"2048x2048":false,"trp-custom-language-flag":false},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Max","author_link":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/sv\/author\/max\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"During one of my father’s emotional outbursts with criticism towards me I discovered a very effective technique to protect one’s own emotions (and vulnerability) against unjust criticism. The idea is to apply real-time shadow processing from the other person’s perspective. If they are triggered by something, it is referring to something within them. e.g. if…","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/sv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/sv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/sv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/sv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/sv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=94"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/sv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":101,"href":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/sv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94\/revisions\/101"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/sv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=94"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/sv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=94"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vitalmeaning.com\/sv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=94"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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