Reactions to the past

While we were talking face to face, I noticed that my brother had some crumbs on his lips. I reached out to remove them (without really thinking about it).

And my brother instinctively withdrew back. I explained that there are some crumbs I wanted to remove.

At that moment I had an insight: my brother was not reacting to me wanting to remove the crumbs. He was reacting to his past experiences. (Maybe experiences with me, maybe with someone else).

In this way, there’s no point in taking his reaction personal. It’s a reaction to the past, which I know little about. I have not seen all that he has seen.

If I would be in his shoes, maybe I would react in a similar way.