Historically, I have an FA attachment style – fearful avoidant. The FA has two sides to them: an anxious side, which goes into activation when the partner pulls away (for example if the partner is a dismissive avoidant who takes space), and a dismissive side, which deactivates. How does deactivation look like? For me, deactivation …
Coping mechanisms and strategies are the things you do in response to a heightened (negative) emotional state. For example, a dismissive avoidant attachment style frequently will have negative associations with vulnerability. When they have been uncharacteristically vulnerable with someone, they will often have a “vulnerability hangover”. They will distance themselves, not return calls, and not …
Just now I was again processing on a situation with an employee. My thoughts kept straying to another situation – which of course plays into my emotions (our emotions are a reflection of the sum of the situations we find ourselves in currently). Therefore, part of the equilibration of my emotions, a big part of …
Emotional Processing Pro Tip: Work on the right set of stories Read More »
In the personal development school by Thais Gibson, some acronyms are used. I am compiling a list of PDS acronyms. Thank you to all PDS members which contributed to this list. AP: anxiously preoccupied attachment style (person) APA: American Psychological Association AS: attachment style AT: Attachment theory BTEA: beliefs – thoughts – emotions – actions …
I am currently working on the “Perfectionism” course by Thais Gibson. She recommends to inquire, whether the particular thing we are trying to control is actually within our reasonable control. And if not, to stop trying to control it – and surrender to the outcome. As driven, perfectionistic people, we might feel that “nothing is …
During one of my father’s emotional outbursts with criticism towards me I discovered a very effective technique to protect one’s own emotions (and vulnerability) against unjust criticism. The idea is to apply real-time shadow processing from the other person’s perspective. If they are triggered by something, it is referring to something within them. e.g. if …
Real-time shadow processing defense technique (protection against unjust criticism) Read More »
The woman I love is the greatest teacher to me. She withdraws from me. I start obsessing about how to “win her”, how to “convince her to build a relationship with me.” Yes, we’re kind of stuck in the “friends or more?” stage. I’m getting mixed signals from her, and am confused. I had been …
The purpose of this process (emotional processing tool) is to be able to handle intense emotions & emotionally upsetting processes on your own in a constructive way. To identify the actual needs at the bottom of your emotions, and to remove pain from stories you tell yourself about this. I’ve prepared a run-down through the …
The emotional processing tool as based on Thais Gibson’s teachings Read More »
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