What do you do when you’re in love with an emotionally unavailable woman?
Realize that you might be emotionally unavailable as well.
That you’re building sandcastles in the sky.
Missing out on reality, and the beauty it has to offer.
Last Saturday, I was on a fantastic date. The backstory I matched this woman, let’s call her Samantha, on Bumble. I had not been too enthusiastic about Samantha initially – we had had two video dates, and had texted nearly every day before our in-real-life date. In the two video dates, both times she brought …
We value what is difficult to obtain We measure the “worth” of something in proportion to how difficult it is to get. For example, do you obsess about being able to get the current news, or get facts? Do you find it – really deeply, emotionally – very valuable to be able to do this? …
I have compiled a checklist for myself today, to check new people – business, friends, romantic partners – which come into my life. This will protect me against dysfunctional relationships going forward. Note: all five steps are individual filters – if any one of them “fails” (e.g. if I don’t feel safe with the person, …
Let’s say you’ve fallen in love with a particular person (or customer, or idea, or home, …). And they are not available, for whatever reason. You might despair, you might start feeling unhappy and frustrated. Focusing and doubling down on achieving “your goal”. There is an alternative to all this (frankly unnecessary) suffering: taking a …
If you can’t get what you want, take a step back Read More »
I am a member of the Personal Development School, and also of it’s official Facebook group. Different members post about their lives and relationships. A story which someone posted today (which I will not retell, to respect their privacy!) reminded me of my own situation. A situation, in which I am with “my” DA love …
Did you know chocolate is toxic to cats (and dogs)? It contains a compound called “Theobromine”, which is toxic. Which brings us to our relationship topic of the day: People consist of many traits and different programming which will be cued by different situations & feelings which arise from them. Some people for example use …
Dismissive avoidants have difficulty handling closeness. A metaphor comes to my mind: A dismissive avoidant woman might want to stay in touch with you, but at a distance. It is as if you are a fire, and she wants to keep somewhat near (due to the protection and warmth). At the same time, she is …
The fire: a metaphor for dismissive avoidants in your life Read More »
When we are in love with someone, we focus on the “yes” in the “maybe”. Today, for me, it is time to hear the “no”, as well. My love interest and me, we have a cycle which runs as follows: she apologizes for the long delay in which I didn’t hear from her (during which …
I am currently working on the “Perfectionism” course by Thais Gibson. She recommends to inquire, whether the particular thing we are trying to control is actually within our reasonable control. And if not, to stop trying to control it – and surrender to the outcome. As driven, perfectionistic people, we might feel that “nothing is …
For behaving in ways which are not well-adjusted to this world and self-damaging, we pay prices. It is important to visualize such prices. Chasing emotionally unavailable women (and exclusively focusing on them, while pushing available women away) is a self-defeating behavior. I have analyzed the prices I keep paying to keep my behavior up today. …
Prices for chasing emotionally unavailable women Read More »
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