I believe that anxiety fundamentally underlies many human interactions. And different people have learned their own individual coping mechanisms. Which manifest as avoidance or hyperactivation. All these coping mechanisms serve to minimize anxiety, which is perceived as threatening. Possibly anxiety is the body’s mapping to threats which it perceives as potentially lethal. It is it’s …
While we were talking face to face, I noticed that my brother had some crumbs on his lips. I reached out to remove them (without really thinking about it). And my brother instinctively withdrew back. I explained that there are some crumbs I wanted to remove. At that moment I had an insight: my brother …
There’s a trick to making all your dishes, cutlery etc. dishwasher-safe: you just treat everything as if it were dishwasher-safe, and discard the items which are not. Eventually, everything you own will be dishwasher-safe. How about applying this to friendships and relationships? You know you need certain things from people. For example to respect your …
I’ve had another one of these insights. We all want to achieve certain goals, and essentially control our emotions. Some people use direct methods to do this – for example by setting boundaries, and dissociating from people who disrespect the boundaries. (Thereby essentially setting a harder boundary). And associating with people who are safe & …
A circus consists of: animals acrobats clowns magicians and of course their acts, costumes, the circus tent, popcorn, sweet drinks, etc. did I forget anything? This is a recipe for a circus. Yesterday my family watched two documentaries about circus families and their hard lifes – always struggling to keep things going, etc. But why …
Did you know chocolate is toxic to cats (and dogs)? It contains a compound called “Theobromine”, which is toxic. Which brings us to our relationship topic of the day: People consist of many traits and different programming which will be cued by different situations & feelings which arise from them. Some people for example use …
Dismissive avoidants have difficulty handling closeness. A metaphor comes to my mind: A dismissive avoidant woman might want to stay in touch with you, but at a distance. It is as if you are a fire, and she wants to keep somewhat near (due to the protection and warmth). At the same time, she is …
The fire: a metaphor for dismissive avoidants in your life Read More »
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