My father owns a flat, where the tenants left. They left different items behind in the cellar, which belongs to the flat. Moving these items, such as old buckets of paint and carton cardboxes, and discarding them, would of course cause extra work to my father. There was one obstacle, however: the cellar was left […]
This book, “Unlocking the Emotional Brain: Memory Reconsolidation and the Psychotherapy of Transformational Change” penned by Bruce Ecker, Robin Ticic and Laurel Hulley came to me in an unusual way: My girlfriend said a guy she had dated before our relationship recommended it to her. This guy was growth-oriented, and naturally curious, I dove in.
Unlocking the Emotional Brain: Memory Reconsolidation in Psychotherapy Read More »
People often get used to situations, and prefer things to stay the same. However, life is dynamic – nothing stays the same … relationships, people, situations, jobs evolve. In life, it is important to be accepting of situations, people, life in general. Only if we accept a situation as it is, we will be able
The difference between active and passive acceptance Read More »
Today, I was reflecting about the performance of an employee in my company. expectation mismatch I realized, that a key part in the friction I experience with him, are my expectations of him – and mismatches in what actually happens against these expectations. With some other employees, e.g. the developer who is building businessbreeze.de for
Expectations, roles, and letting go Read More »
Last Saturday I was at my 20 year class reunion (the graduation meeting, Abiturtreffen). I wanted to connect with the people I went to school with, see how their lives developed (and yes compare how my life has developed). There was only one problem: a “Munich Singles Club Meetup” was happening on the same evening.
Why it’s safe to make choices Read More »
Imagine getting your partner some flowers from the supermarket as a surprise. Let’s say for 5 €. Now imagine getting them an expensive piece of jewelery. Let’s say for 5000 € Both of them (hopefully) create some happiness, and a nice surprise for your partner. But can the expensive piece of jewelery really elicit a
Creating value for your partner is not tied to cost! Read More »
It is possible to analyze how people choose a mate based on statistics. Probably it does not surprise you, that people usually want a healthy, positive person as their significant other, who will pull their own weight. But what about the specifics?, I hear you cry. What about the hair color, what about their hobbies?
How people choose a mate: the black box Read More »
While doing personal development work I’ve come up with a wonderful analogy. A cook turns ingredients into delicious dishes. The taste of the dishes depends on the skill of the cook, but also on the ingredients. This metaphor can be applied to relationships as well: You offer up ingredients to a relationship – for example
Cooking beautiful relationships Read More »
“If I could just get them to open up a little more”. “They are always so distant” or “They are always all over me, can’t they leave me alone?” It seems that, if only this other person would change, the world would turn into rainbows and sunshine for you. You would magically achieve all your
To achieve my goal I need the other person to change Read More »
Let’s say you’ve fallen in love with a particular person (or customer, or idea, or home, …). And they are not available, for whatever reason. You might despair, you might start feeling unhappy and frustrated. Focusing and doubling down on achieving “your goal”. There is an alternative to all this (frankly unnecessary) suffering: taking a
If you can’t get what you want, take a step back Read More »
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