For behaving in ways which are not well-adjusted to this world and self-damaging, we pay prices. It is important to visualize such prices.
Chasing emotionally unavailable women (and exclusively focusing on them, while pushing available women away) is a self-defeating behavior.
I have analyzed the prices I keep paying to keep my behavior up today.
This work is based on the excellent video “Quick Change, eliminating self-defeating behavior patterns” by Doug Peters.
Here are the points / prices I identified I keep paying in text form:
“Emotionally unavailable woman”
- pain through rejection
- pain through uncertainty
- losing out on sex, closeness, cuddling
- losing out on adventures & experiences together with an emotionally available woman who wants to make a relationship work with me
- wasting time by obsessing
- worse performance in business
- (mind occupied by woman)
- no children
- mama & papa don’t get grandchildren
- losing out on adventures, fun, other ways to enjoy life by pouring huge amounts of energy into the emotionally unavailable woman
- less time for my friends & adventures with them
- doubt & impaired self-worth
- “what am I doing wrong”?
- being boundaryless (!) with the emotionally unavailable woman
- Annoying the woman
- causing anxiety to her
- costing her extra energy to fend me off
- lying to myself
- … that this fantasy relationship has a future & I can “make it work”
- impact on self-worth & self-trust!
- hurting women who are into me
- by refusing to engage
- no time for emotionally available women!
- bad mood, low energy for me
- waking up / not having received messages
- many disappointments
- pain through not getting my needs met!
Feel free to add the prices you are paying in the comments below! It’s important to be aware of them to finally stop doing a behavior which is not helping you to live a better life, annoys the woman at the receiving end, and keeps you from having a life partner who fully reciprocates.