While we were talking face to face, I noticed that my brother had some crumbs on his lips. I reached out to remove them (without really thinking about it). And my brother instinctively withdrew back. I explained that there are some crumbs I wanted to remove. At that moment I had an insight: my brother […]
Reactions to the past Read More »
There’s a trick to making all your dishes, cutlery etc. dishwasher-safe: you just treat everything as if it were dishwasher-safe, and discard the items which are not. Eventually, everything you own will be dishwasher-safe. How about applying this to friendships and relationships? You know you need certain things from people. For example to respect your
Dishwasher-safe relationships and friendships Read More »
I’ve had another one of these insights. We all want to achieve certain goals, and essentially control our emotions. Some people use direct methods to do this – for example by setting boundaries, and dissociating from people who disrespect the boundaries. (Thereby essentially setting a harder boundary). And associating with people who are safe &
Insecure attachment styles and control Read More »
A circus consists of: animals acrobats clowns magicians and of course their acts, costumes, the circus tent, popcorn, sweet drinks, etc. did I forget anything? This is a recipe for a circus. Yesterday my family watched two documentaries about circus families and their hard lifes – always struggling to keep things going, etc. But why
Did you know chocolate is toxic to cats (and dogs)? It contains a compound called “Theobromine”, which is toxic. Which brings us to our relationship topic of the day: People consist of many traits and different programming which will be cued by different situations & feelings which arise from them. Some people for example use
Chocolate is toxic to cats Read More »
Dismissive avoidants have difficulty handling closeness. A metaphor comes to my mind: A dismissive avoidant woman might want to stay in touch with you, but at a distance. It is as if you are a fire, and she wants to keep somewhat near (due to the protection and warmth). At the same time, she is
The fire: a metaphor for dismissive avoidants in your life Read More »
I am currently considering to purchase a MacBook as next computer, returning to the Apple world after a long hiatus (we used to have a Mac Performa in my childhood / adolescence). https://www.apple.com/de/newsroom/2021/10/apple-unveils-game-changing-macbook-pro/ Then I saw two more small mistakes in the text. If you speak German, can you spot the one in this snippet?
Even Apple has spelling mistakes on their website Read More »
Picking up the topic of “Can I actually control this?” up again. Everything we do is connected to some need we have. Or actually, it’s better to think of this as a chain of needs / linked concepts interlocking which serve to fill a core need. “If I get this woman, I will be able
Pull on the right lever Read More »
Yesterday I had a job applicant in, who is openly very enthusiastic about joining, and really wants to make a good impression. He’s offered to do extra services and help with other things beside the company as well. I find myself resisting his application & interest in the position. Looking for problems, actually. I tell
Your desire is not my desire Read More »
When we are in love with someone, we focus on the “yes” in the “maybe”. Today, for me, it is time to hear the “no”, as well. My love interest and me, we have a cycle which runs as follows: she apologizes for the long delay in which I didn’t hear from her (during which
Hearing the “no” in the “maybe” Read More »
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