Picking up the topic of “Can I actually control this?” up again. Everything we do is connected to some need we have. Or actually, it’s better to think of this as a chain of needs / linked concepts interlocking which serve to fill a core need. “If I get this woman, I will be able …
I’ve started today, on a whim, to compile a list of “top things I would like to see in a girlfriend”. At the very top of my list is “emotional safety”. I then tried to formulate what I mean by “emotional safety”. And this definition is what I came up with: When she is in …
My father and I met a woman customer at the local post office, back when we were still living in Munich. She had a dog with her, and was berating the dog. I remember it ducking away in pain and looking up with it’s sad dog eyes. It was a German shepherd. Maybe it had …
I am currently doing the “Perfectionism Trauma” course with the wonderful Thais Gibson. She mentions several dysfunctional strategies in there, for example “never enough” components (“I’m never going to be thin enough / big enough / rich enough / clever enough / … “, no matter how much energy I put into.) On the other …
The omnipotent brain learning dysfunctional perception strategies Read More »
For behaving in ways which are not well-adjusted to this world and self-damaging, we pay prices. It is important to visualize such prices. Chasing emotionally unavailable women (and exclusively focusing on them, while pushing available women away) is a self-defeating behavior. I have analyzed the prices I keep paying to keep my behavior up today. …
Prices for chasing emotionally unavailable women Read More »
Relationships exist for a reason. They are a form of mutual support, of being able to weather the storms of life better together. As such they need to meet the needs of the individuals in the relationship – they need to meet the needs better, than each individual in the relationship would be able to …
This is the very best video I have found about dealing with self-defeating behaviors quickly and efficiently. I am right now dealing with procrastination (more specifically decision phobia). (My wrong conclusion: “Not deciding keeps me safe because I can’t make a mistake and stay in control until I decide”) I’ll post more material on this …
An important video about Self Defeating Behaviors Read More »
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