A knife can be used to cut bread. A knife can be used to hurt other people, and to hurt yourself. Persisting in spite of rejection This is a habit, a thing I picked up in childhood. My father could be unpredictable. I remember well the feeling of trust building up slowly over time with […]
Persisting in spite of rejection: a super power Read More »
I had only one girlfriend so far, and we broke up because of a teddy bear. That is exaggerating of course, there were other issues, but the teddy was a symbol. The story goes like this: we met, dated, had sex. I started to withdraw, and she started to become increasingly stressed because of this.
The power of explicit communication Read More »
Historically, I have an FA attachment style – fearful avoidant. The FA has two sides to them: an anxious side, which goes into activation when the partner pulls away (for example if the partner is a dismissive avoidant who takes space), and a dismissive side, which deactivates. How does deactivation look like? For me, deactivation
Replace judgment with curiosity month Read More »
I had a dream this night. In the dream, I was visiting a restaurant with a friend. There were mineral water bottles hanging from a rack, some of them had mould on it. I then received cutlery which was not clean, as sometimes the automatic dishwasher fails to clean it. I requested for new cutlery
Dreaming of boundaries Read More »
A fantastic sketch video, which nails it:
How to reprogram your subconscious mind Read More »
We value what is difficult to obtain We measure the “worth” of something in proportion to how difficult it is to get. For example, do you obsess about being able to get the current news, or get facts? Do you find it – really deeply, emotionally – very valuable to be able to do this?
The hard-to-get fallacy Read More »
When you go shopping with your friends, do you pay for their groceries? Maybe once in a while, but not all the time, right? Sometimes we end up “paying for the groceries” for important people in our lives. And someone who doesn’t pay for the groceries themselves will not see their value as directly and
Don’t pay prices other people should be paying Read More »
Yesterday I saw a woman taking a selfie in front of a building. After a little consideration I approached her and asked her whether she wanted to take a picture taken of her. A brief conversation ensued – the woman was happy to interact with me. She was a Japanese stewardess. This is an example
I am currently chatting with a woman (in a dating context), who must remain unnamed. As I am currently travelling in Australia, and she is in Germany, I have not been able to meet with her yet. We have been writing on and off, and it transpired that she is interested in me. I also
Self defeating behavior illustrated Read More »
IAT is integrated attachment theory by Thais Gibson / PDS. It consists of 6 components:
6 components of IAT Read More »
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