Today, I was reflecting about the performance of an employee in my company. expectation mismatch I realized, that a key part in the friction I experience with him, are my expectations of him – and mismatches in what actually happens against these expectations. With some other employees, e.g. the developer who is building businessbreeze.de for […]
Expectations, roles, and letting go Read More »
At a networking event in London I met a group of people, and we went to “the Alchemist” bar together. Of course, some drinks were involved. One of the guys – let’s call him Harry – chatted up two women at a table nearby, and soon myself and two other gentlemen followed. Harry and one
How does it look like, when two people trigger each other Read More »
LoveWisdomHub is a website, where you can get immediate advice for relationship questions, such as whether to text your new crush, challenging friendship situations, and family ties. The advice is AI-generated, using GPT4 (“ChatGPT”) with a little twist. A friend gave me the feedback, that it is frustrating to wait for a long time for
New LoveWisdomHub version online Read More »
I had only one girlfriend so far, and we broke up because of a teddy bear. That is exaggerating of course, there were other issues, but the teddy was a symbol. The story goes like this: we met, dated, had sex. I started to withdraw, and she started to become increasingly stressed because of this.
The power of explicit communication Read More »
Historically, I have an FA attachment style – fearful avoidant. The FA has two sides to them: an anxious side, which goes into activation when the partner pulls away (for example if the partner is a dismissive avoidant who takes space), and a dismissive side, which deactivates. How does deactivation look like? For me, deactivation
Replace judgment with curiosity month Read More »
“If I could just get them to open up a little more”. “They are always so distant” or “They are always all over me, can’t they leave me alone?” It seems that, if only this other person would change, the world would turn into rainbows and sunshine for you. You would magically achieve all your
To achieve my goal I need the other person to change Read More »
You’ve maybe heard it said before: “You can’t date people’s potential, you need to date them as they are”. A great and true quote. To help you grasp the real meaning of this: People can indeed become anything. And yes, people are born as blank slates on which experiences and possibly a deal of random
Potential to be a mass-murderer or a great lover Read More »
I am a member of the Personal Development School, and also of it’s official Facebook group. Different members post about their lives and relationships. A story which someone posted today (which I will not retell, to respect their privacy!) reminded me of my own situation. A situation, in which I am with “my” DA love
It’s not about you Read More »
While we were talking face to face, I noticed that my brother had some crumbs on his lips. I reached out to remove them (without really thinking about it). And my brother instinctively withdrew back. I explained that there are some crumbs I wanted to remove. At that moment I had an insight: my brother
Reactions to the past Read More »
There’s a trick to making all your dishes, cutlery etc. dishwasher-safe: you just treat everything as if it were dishwasher-safe, and discard the items which are not. Eventually, everything you own will be dishwasher-safe. How about applying this to friendships and relationships? You know you need certain things from people. For example to respect your
Dishwasher-safe relationships and friendships Read More »
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