Is it reasonable to try and control this?

I am currently working on the “Perfectionism” course by Thais Gibson. She recommends to inquire, whether the particular thing we are trying to control is actually within our reasonable control. And if not, to stop trying to control it – and surrender to the outcome. As driven, perfectionistic people, we might feel that “nothing is …

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Toxic people

I never liked the “toxic people” moniker. It kind of seems unfair towards these people. And then, you get the discussion, “is this person truly toxic or not?” I think the discussion needs to be shifted, and the definition needs to become our own. Same as different people tolerate different levels of poison, and some …

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Real-time shadow processing defense technique (protection against unjust criticism)

During one of my father’s emotional outbursts with criticism towards me I discovered a very effective technique to protect one’s own emotions (and vulnerability) against unjust criticism. The idea is to apply real-time shadow processing from the other person’s perspective. If they are triggered by something, it is referring to something within them. e.g. if …

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The emotional processing tool as based on Thais Gibson’s teachings

The purpose of this process (emotional processing tool) is to be able to handle intense emotions & emotionally upsetting processes on your own in a constructive way. To identify the actual needs at the bottom of your emotions, and to remove pain from stories you tell yourself about this. I’ve prepared a run-down through the …

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Reprogramming the conclusion about emotionally unavailable women

Part of my work with the self-defeating behavior (SDB) about chasing emotionally unavailable women and rejecting the women who are interested in me. It’s important to distill the learnings from the work into sentences which are easy to stick into your mind, therefore my wrong (life-taking) and right (life-giving) conclusions are listed below. They key …

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