A lot of friction can be caused when people do not communicate enough / in the right way at work. People with different attachment styles communicate in a different way – for example, people with the dismissive avoidant attachment style tend to withdraw during communication, when overwhelmed. They also tend to not show their emotions […]
Communication tips at work for people with communication challenges Read More »
I have compiled a checklist for myself today, to check new people – business, friends, romantic partners – which come into my life. This will protect me against dysfunctional relationships going forward. Note: all five steps are individual filters – if any one of them “fails” (e.g. if I don’t feel safe with the person,
Five steps to avoid dysfunctional relationships Read More »
I am a member of the Personal Development School, and also of it’s official Facebook group. Different members post about their lives and relationships. A story which someone posted today (which I will not retell, to respect their privacy!) reminded me of my own situation. A situation, in which I am with “my” DA love
It’s not about you Read More »
I believe that anxiety fundamentally underlies many human interactions. And different people have learned their own individual coping mechanisms. Which manifest as avoidance or hyperactivation. All these coping mechanisms serve to minimize anxiety, which is perceived as threatening. Possibly anxiety is the body’s mapping to threats which it perceives as potentially lethal. It is it’s
Anxiety is stronger than you think Read More »
Did you know chocolate is toxic to cats (and dogs)? It contains a compound called “Theobromine”, which is toxic. Which brings us to our relationship topic of the day: People consist of many traits and different programming which will be cued by different situations & feelings which arise from them. Some people for example use
Chocolate is toxic to cats Read More »
When we are in love with someone, we focus on the “yes” in the “maybe”. Today, for me, it is time to hear the “no”, as well. My love interest and me, we have a cycle which runs as follows: she apologizes for the long delay in which I didn’t hear from her (during which
Hearing the “no” in the “maybe” Read More »
I am currently working on the “Perfectionism” course by Thais Gibson. She recommends to inquire, whether the particular thing we are trying to control is actually within our reasonable control. And if not, to stop trying to control it – and surrender to the outcome. As driven, perfectionistic people, we might feel that “nothing is
Is it reasonable to try and control this? Read More »
The woman I love is the greatest teacher to me. She withdraws from me. I start obsessing about how to “win her”, how to “convince her to build a relationship with me.” Yes, we’re kind of stuck in the “friends or more?” stage. I’m getting mixed signals from her, and am confused. I had been
Upset about distance? Do golden shadow work Read More »
For behaving in ways which are not well-adjusted to this world and self-damaging, we pay prices. It is important to visualize such prices. Chasing emotionally unavailable women (and exclusively focusing on them, while pushing available women away) is a self-defeating behavior. I have analyzed the prices I keep paying to keep my behavior up today.
Prices for chasing emotionally unavailable women Read More »
For programmers, there is a paradigm which says “if it quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, then treat it as a duck”. Similarly, a lover must treat you in a certain way to be recognizable as a lover. This includes wanting to spend time with you, and engaging with you. If they don’t
A duck must be recognizable as a duck Read More »
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