It is possible to analyze how people choose a mate based on statistics. Probably it does not surprise you, that people usually want a healthy, positive person as their significant other, who will pull their own weight. But what about the specifics?, I hear you cry. What about the hair color, what about their hobbies? […]
How people choose a mate: the black box Read More »
Today, I have relaunched LoveWisdomHub, the website where you can get your love & relationship questions answered quickly by a friendly AI system, or in-depth by professional relationship coaches. Known Bugs While testing the new website (which has been built from several components), I’ve noticed that unfortunately the send to email functionality is still there,
New version 2.0.0 of LoveWisdomHub is online Read More »
I had a friend, A., in Munich, with whom I used to do lots of things. We would go on walks, talk. I spent one new year’s with him, watching movies. We would also spend time together at his girlfriend’s apartment. This girlfriend was a bit older than A. One time, when we were in
The hidden costs of being a dick to other people Read More »
A knife can be used to cut bread. A knife can be used to hurt other people, and to hurt yourself. Persisting in spite of rejection This is a habit, a thing I picked up in childhood. My father could be unpredictable. I remember well the feeling of trust building up slowly over time with
Persisting in spite of rejection: a super power Read More »
I had only one girlfriend so far, and we broke up because of a teddy bear. That is exaggerating of course, there were other issues, but the teddy was a symbol. The story goes like this: we met, dated, had sex. I started to withdraw, and she started to become increasingly stressed because of this.
The power of explicit communication Read More »
Historically, I have an FA attachment style – fearful avoidant. The FA has two sides to them: an anxious side, which goes into activation when the partner pulls away (for example if the partner is a dismissive avoidant who takes space), and a dismissive side, which deactivates. How does deactivation look like? For me, deactivation
Replace judgment with curiosity month Read More »
I had a dream this night. In the dream, I was visiting a restaurant with a friend. There were mineral water bottles hanging from a rack, some of them had mould on it. I then received cutlery which was not clean, as sometimes the automatic dishwasher fails to clean it. I requested for new cutlery
Dreaming of boundaries Read More »
A fantastic sketch video, which nails it:
How to reprogram your subconscious mind Read More »
We value what is difficult to obtain We measure the “worth” of something in proportion to how difficult it is to get. For example, do you obsess about being able to get the current news, or get facts? Do you find it – really deeply, emotionally – very valuable to be able to do this?
The hard-to-get fallacy Read More »
When you go shopping with your friends, do you pay for their groceries? Maybe once in a while, but not all the time, right? Sometimes we end up “paying for the groceries” for important people in our lives. And someone who doesn’t pay for the groceries themselves will not see their value as directly and
Don’t pay prices other people should be paying Read More »
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