paradigm shifts Archives

Unlocking the Emotional Brain: Memory Reconsolidation in Psychotherapy

Leave a Comment / books, neural networks & the brain, paradigm shifts, self defeating behaviors, skills, tools for emotional work / Max

This book, “Unlocking the Emotional Brain: Memory Reconsolidation and the Psychotherapy of Transformational Change” penned by Bruce Ecker, Robin Ticic and Laurel Hulley came to me in an unusual way: My girlfriend said a guy she had dated before our relationship recommended it to her. This guy was growth-oriented, and naturally curious, I dove in. […]

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The difference between active and passive acceptance

Leave a Comment / business, paradigm shifts / Max

People often get used to situations, and prefer things to stay the same. However, life is dynamic – nothing stays the same … relationships, people, situations, jobs evolve. In life, it is important to be accepting of situations, people, life in general. Only if we accept a situation as it is, we will be able

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Expectations, roles, and letting go

Leave a Comment / paradigm shifts, relationships / Max

Today, I was reflecting about the performance of an employee in my company. expectation mismatch I realized, that a key part in the friction I experience with him, are my expectations of him – and mismatches in what actually happens against these expectations. With some other employees, e.g. the developer who is building businessbreeze.de for

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Why it’s safe to make choices

Leave a Comment / dating, paradigm shifts / Max

Last Saturday I was at my 20 year class reunion (the graduation meeting, Abiturtreffen). I wanted to connect with the people I went to school with, see how their lives developed (and yes compare how my life has developed). There was only one problem: a “Munich Singles Club Meetup” was happening on the same evening.

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Creating value for your partner is not tied to cost!

How people choose a mate: the black box

Leave a Comment / dating, paradigm shifts / Max

It is possible to analyze how people choose a mate based on statistics. Probably it does not surprise you, that people usually want a healthy, positive person as their significant other, who will pull their own weight. But what about the specifics?, I hear you cry. What about the hair color, what about their hobbies?

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Cooking beautiful relationships

To achieve my goal I need the other person to change

Leave a Comment / paradigm shifts, relationships / Max

“If I could just get them to open up a little more”. “They are always so distant” or “They are always all over me, can’t they leave me alone?” It seems that, if only this other person would change, the world would turn into rainbows and sunshine for you. You would magically achieve all your

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If you can’t get what you want, take a step back

Leave a Comment / emotionally unavailable women, paradigm shifts / Max

Let’s say you’ve fallen in love with a particular person (or customer, or idea, or home, …). And they are not available, for whatever reason. You might despair, you might start feeling unhappy and frustrated. Focusing and doubling down on achieving “your goal”. There is an alternative to all this (frankly unnecessary) suffering: taking a

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