Let’s say you’ve fallen in love with a particular person (or customer, or idea, or home, …). And they are not available, for whatever reason. You might despair, you might start feeling unhappy and frustrated. Focusing and doubling down on achieving “your goal”. There is an alternative to all this (frankly unnecessary) suffering: taking a […]
If you can’t get what you want, take a step back Read More »
You’ve maybe heard it said before: “You can’t date people’s potential, you need to date them as they are”. A great and true quote. To help you grasp the real meaning of this: People can indeed become anything. And yes, people are born as blank slates on which experiences and possibly a deal of random
Potential to be a mass-murderer or a great lover Read More »
Vs one of my banks (Postbank): While wise.com is certainly very convenient, it’s probably a good idea to continue to compare it against your bank. The Postbank is doing a good job with it’s fees.
Wise.com (Transferwise) is not always the cheapest Read More »
Mitarbeiter zu finden ist schwer? Diese Erfahrung habe ich bislang auch gemacht. Ich habe sehr viel Geld (mehrere Tausend €) auf Indeed ausgegeben, ohne sinnvolle Resultate. Auch eBay Kleinanzeigen hat nur mäßige Resultate gebracht. Wir hatten beispielsweise einen Kandidaten da, den ich einstellen wollte – der ist aber am ersten Arbeitstag einfach nicht aufgetaucht, und
Mitarbeitersuche in 2022 richtig gemacht Read More »
Some people, including myself, get upset if their key (the way they are) does not fit in a particular lock: their romantic advances are spurned by the person of their desire. Locks and keys are “made for each other”, and there are only certain locks which will fit with certain keys. No matter how attractive
Which lock will your key fit in? Read More »
I am a member of the Personal Development School, and also of it’s official Facebook group. Different members post about their lives and relationships. A story which someone posted today (which I will not retell, to respect their privacy!) reminded me of my own situation. A situation, in which I am with “my” DA love
It’s not about you Read More »
I believe that anxiety fundamentally underlies many human interactions. And different people have learned their own individual coping mechanisms. Which manifest as avoidance or hyperactivation. All these coping mechanisms serve to minimize anxiety, which is perceived as threatening. Possibly anxiety is the body’s mapping to threats which it perceives as potentially lethal. It is it’s
Anxiety is stronger than you think Read More »
While we were talking face to face, I noticed that my brother had some crumbs on his lips. I reached out to remove them (without really thinking about it). And my brother instinctively withdrew back. I explained that there are some crumbs I wanted to remove. At that moment I had an insight: my brother
Reactions to the past Read More »
There’s a trick to making all your dishes, cutlery etc. dishwasher-safe: you just treat everything as if it were dishwasher-safe, and discard the items which are not. Eventually, everything you own will be dishwasher-safe. How about applying this to friendships and relationships? You know you need certain things from people. For example to respect your
Dishwasher-safe relationships and friendships Read More »
I’ve had another one of these insights. We all want to achieve certain goals, and essentially control our emotions. Some people use direct methods to do this – for example by setting boundaries, and dissociating from people who disrespect the boundaries. (Thereby essentially setting a harder boundary). And associating with people who are safe &
Insecure attachment styles and control Read More »
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