My emotions show that “X doesn’t deserve more pay” me earlier today The request A colleague approached me about a salary increase a couple of weeks back. She is a key colleague for me, someone who has a lot of responsibilities in my company. Someone who really matters, her leaving could disrupt my operation significantly […]
The danger of paying salaries based on your own emotional state Read More »
At a networking event in London I met a group of people, and we went to “the Alchemist” bar together. Of course, some drinks were involved. One of the guys – let’s call him Harry – chatted up two women at a table nearby, and soon myself and two other gentlemen followed. Harry and one
How does it look like, when two people trigger each other Read More »
This is the story of how I became the owner of a new pair of glasses. I work a lot. Especially lately. It never feels enough, and it never “is” enough. That is, why I haven’t picked up new test contact lenses from my optician for several months. While going back home from our office,
How does not getting triggered look like? Read More »
LoveWisdomHub is a website, where you can get immediate advice for relationship questions, such as whether to text your new crush, challenging friendship situations, and family ties. The advice is AI-generated, using GPT4 (“ChatGPT”) with a little twist. A friend gave me the feedback, that it is frustrating to wait for a long time for
New LoveWisdomHub version online Read More »
Historically, I have an FA attachment style – fearful avoidant. The FA has two sides to them: an anxious side, which goes into activation when the partner pulls away (for example if the partner is a dismissive avoidant who takes space), and a dismissive side, which deactivates. How does deactivation look like? For me, deactivation
Replace judgment with curiosity month Read More »
Coping mechanisms and strategies are the things you do in response to a heightened (negative) emotional state. For example, a dismissive avoidant attachment style frequently will have negative associations with vulnerability. When they have been uncharacteristically vulnerable with someone, they will often have a “vulnerability hangover”. They will distance themselves, not return calls, and not
Updating Coping mechanisms Read More »
Just now I was again processing on a situation with an employee. My thoughts kept straying to another situation – which of course plays into my emotions (our emotions are a reflection of the sum of the situations we find ourselves in currently). Therefore, part of the equilibration of my emotions, a big part of
Emotional Processing Pro Tip: Work on the right set of stories Read More »
In the personal development school by Thais Gibson, some acronyms are used. I am compiling a list of PDS acronyms. Thank you to all PDS members which contributed to this list. AP: anxiously preoccupied attachment style (person) APA: American Psychological Association AS: attachment style AT: Attachment theory BTEA: beliefs – thoughts – emotions – actions
List of abbreviations used in PDS Read More »
I am currently working on the “Perfectionism” course by Thais Gibson. She recommends to inquire, whether the particular thing we are trying to control is actually within our reasonable control. And if not, to stop trying to control it – and surrender to the outcome. As driven, perfectionistic people, we might feel that “nothing is
Is it reasonable to try and control this? Read More »
During one of my father’s emotional outbursts with criticism towards me I discovered a very effective technique to protect one’s own emotions (and vulnerability) against unjust criticism. The idea is to apply real-time shadow processing from the other person’s perspective. If they are triggered by something, it is referring to something within them. e.g. if
Real-time shadow processing defense technique (protection against unjust criticism) Read More »
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